The essay below was submitted as part of my assessment with the AOEC. It is a reflective essay about my learning journey and how coaching with me can look.

Enjoy.

The 2012 Olympics changed my life. I was dead set against them to begin with. It was a busy summer at work and the impending threat of travel difficulties, overcrowded roads and busy hotels meant I couldn’t do my job “properly”.

 Looking back there was absolutely no difficulty surrounding the Olympics. Everything I needed to be able to do to execute my job at the highest standard was available to me and once I’d realised that I could enjoy them. By allowing myself to enjoy this special moment in time I discovered a new version of myself – a version that wanted to be challenged and inspired; how could you not be with all of this greatness unfolding on your doorstep? So with this in mind I joined a gym, clichéd I know, but it seemed like something I should do given what I’d just witnessed. I was watching people achieve great things by working the hardest they can phyiscally, and it was something I wanted to apply to myself too having never done so before. As the next six years unfolded this one act was a defining moment rather than a “typical” one. Yes, I joined a gym because I wanted to change who I was, and who I was at that time was someone defined by their job, unhealthily overweight, worryingly insecure. I also joined the gym because I decided I wanted test myself to reach my physical limits, and that to me was to run a marathon – a huge task for someone in my physical and mental state, and something I was told I would “never do” when I shared that desire. So like a red rag to a bull I set my goal, my “medal moment”. Nine months later I became marathon ready. In April 2013 I crossed the finish line of the London Marathon beaming with pride and the strongest I had ever been, physically and mentally.

 I didn’t stop there. To this date I’ve run five marathons and have number six scheduled. I’ve clocked over 5000km in training runs and races combined and because of this I’ve kept to a fitness regime that has strengthened both body and mind. I’ve discovered the healing benefits of yoga and meditation in this time too and through the marathon training world I’ve immersed myself in I’ve widened my circle of friends, mentors and inspirators to help mould who I am in the present and in the future.

 Training for marathons doesn’t come easy to me, but I enjoy the journey. I enjoy the sense of achievement. I enjoy the challenges. A marathon tests your resilience, it makes you doubt yourself; it teaches you that only hard work will suffice and that it’s you and only you that will cross that finish line. A marathon also teaches you that time is not important as that finishers medal is awarded to each and every runner no matter how long it takes them to get around. No one loses – it’s all a personal journey of achievement. My coaching journey is very similar to a marathon experience. In order to start the process, there will be a goal in mind. You have to be dedicated to that goal, you have to accept it’ll change shape as time progresses and you have to get to that end goal on your own terms. You can seek assistance for sure, but you need to be fully invested in getting yourself there in order to succeed.   

 The decision to start coaching didn’t come as easily or quickly as deciding to run a marathon. It’s been a result of much soul searching and trying to find a path that defines the best version of myself. It started with a desire to change how I defined myself. For most of my adult life I have found myself defined by my career, and whilst I have an amazing career it’s not something I solely want to be known for. I started my career path at a young age, working tirelessly since the age of fifteen to reach to the top of my profession. For the first three years of my “working life” I worked for free spending my school holidays volunteering in the office to learn the grass roots of the job. After completing my A-Levels I was promised a desk which I sat at for nine years working from entry level runner to account director, proudly acknowledging that my hard work, dedication and passion paid off. At twenty-four I left that desk to become the youngest person in my industry to run a publicity department at a major film studio and I was given that position never having any kind of management experience – I was given it because the company leaders saw something special in me and they knew I would develop and grow into the role, which I have done so for eleven years and counting. Today I stand with twenty years of experience in the same industry, having worked from the bottom to the top at an agency, and more than a decade of evolving in my position at my current workplace through dedication and willingness to learn and openness to be challenged. I have learned how best to manage my team, how best to manage my bosses, how best to manage my peers and I am still developing these techniques every day. Twenty years of making mistakes, achieving success, developing myself and others and constantly evolving has been, and continues to be formative for both myself and those I work with. As I’ve developed in my position as a department head and leader to my team I’ve come to settle into a working environment where my team feel allowed to feel they have enough space to truly discover themselves, to realise their potential, and to have awareness of their achievements be them in the past, present or future.  And it’s with this space for myself that I realised that coaching was the next step in my own development.

 I didn’t realise this was a calling for me until January 2019, six and a half years after my first transformative “medal moment”. For much of 2018 I’d watched close friends and people I admire make drastic career changes leaving corporate life for yoga teaching, spin instructing, starting freelance careers or start-up businesses and it provoked me to ask questions as to where next I can go. I knew one thing – I wasn’t ready to leave my current career but I did want to add to it, and that’s a tricky thing to expand upon when you’re at the top of the “glass ceiling” and you’ve been leading the department for over a decade. Like magic, the calling came to me on a training run. As the new year hit I decided to set some physical goals as that comes easier to me than setting other kinds of goals. This wasn’t enough though. I very quickly became frustrated as I knew there was something else to discover this year, I just couldn’t quite put my finger on it. I’d put a huge amount of pressure on myself to set something lifechanging for myself for the new year and was growing more and more frustrated that I couldn’t figure it out. “This is where a coach would step in” I thought. And then it came to me, in an instant running up a damn steep hill, learning to coach would help marry my desire to develop people and my want to further my skill set. Learning to coach would push my own boundaries further, get me out of my current professional comfort zone, and force me to spend some much-needed time to look inwards, and get me out of the blockage I felt within me.

 With this challenge chosen and this goal set the first step outside of my comfort zone was to truly identify the personal values I hold dear as identifying those vales is a core attribute to being an effective coach in my opinion. I knew I held some attributes close to my heart when looking at the professional “me” - I am always on time, fiercely loyal, act with kindness, compassion and honesty as well as operating with an openness to always be learning. What I didn’t truly realise was that these values were intrinsically linked to every aspect of me. It was my very first day on the course that encouraged this soul searching and provided this lightbulb moment.  The process of being able to define my values and notice how intertwined they are in all I do has been empowering and enlightening, and something I encourage with all of my clients as I coach. The values I identified with through this process are ones of trust, of loyalty, of commitment, of compassion and of challenge. I’ve always been someone who holds the acts of loyalty, trust, compassion and commitment as close to my heart. I add challenge into my core values as I’ve learned through time to test my limits and to not be afraid of “just trying” in all that I do. I also believe that the want to consistently be learning can be represented by challenge.

 Through this learning experience I’ve also deepened my thinking about how one shapes the different elements of their lifestyle – employment, relationships, hobbies and so on. Different values will be more present in different areas, however through self-discovery I’ve found that it’s important to me to ensure that all values can be present in all areas in some way. With that in mind I’ve been able to assess what I bring to each area of my life, learning how I want to move it forwards and how this can be articulated within my coaching model, bringing a rounded and holistic approach to finding solutions and goal setting in the sessions with my clients and ultimately encouraging being a more authentic person in the coaching space – both for myself as coach and for the client.

 The importance of reflection has also developed over my time learning and found it’s way into my coaching model. Reflection often seemed wasteful to me, especially at work as I’m always in a fast paced environment and that means I feel the need to always be moving forward and focusing on the future, not the past. I knew it was important to learn from the past but it needed to be a quick exercise in order to keep on moving with time-efficiency. Being encouraged during my learning to sit back and truly dig deep into key moments and recognise the areas of achievement and those that need improvement has been revolutionary for me and one I feel needs to be bought to the table in the coaching space – both inside and outside of sessions, and for both coach and client. It’s related to the notion of being wholly present – mindful of arriving into the coaching environment ready to purely be in the moment. It’s something I responded to well and continue to practise as I coach.

 As my model continues to evolve I’ve ensured and will continue to make sure that I’ve personally experienced what I’m asking my clients to explore – in short, I practise what I preach. I’ve dug deep and explored my values and will always review and reflect back to them in my coaching practise. With my values set I’ve outlined a series of goals to be achieved over different periods of time. I’ve had to acknowledge that my goals evolve and change as the process develops. I’ve not been afraid to ask questions, as for support, or be challenged. This process has made me more inquisitive as a person, therefore a better listener as a coach. Throughout this development process I’ve allowed myself to become more grounded as a person, more reflective in all I do and more forgiving to time – allowing processes the space to breathe and progress rather than be more immediately focused and it’s these learnings that I’ve added into my coaching practise, and what forms the foundations  that I ask of my clients.

 My coaching development has helped improved every aspect of my life. In the short time that has evolved over the learning programme I have found that I’m an improved manager. I do less of the talking and even more of the encouraging. My team take much more ownership of their tasks and we’re a more fulfilled team as a result. Developing as a coach also cemented the importance of solo reflection and has allowed me to find more space for my meditation practise. I believe it’s important to bring this practise into my coaching model as being a more mindful coach, a less-affected-by-stress coach, a more present coach is one that is infinitely more beneficial to the client. The journey is also helping me remain focused on my physical training goals by being more time efficient and more focused staying on the path towards my own goals. In whatever I do I ensure all actions are forward focused. I reflect and learn from the past and apply it to my future – no matter how significant the action will seem to the outside, I know I’m adding building blocks to whatever lies ahead and again, I ask of this of my clients.  

 As my learning coaching self I’ve found that I hold a space of honesty, of authenticity and one that invites both coach and client to be inquisitive and open to challenges. Growth and awareness are at the centre of our thinking during sessions, and thinking about how we grow and how we become more aware are the processes we go through. I ask clients to share their dreams or identify what they might think are problem areas and blockages and look to how both can be developed in order to build a more fulfilled, a more grounded, a more true-to-you client that is focused and realizes that they can achieve anything. Together the relationship and the time spent together will be collaborative and co-created bringing to life the essence of the co-active coach, which encourages the realisation that “the client is naturally creative, resourceful and whole”. We’ll trust each other and be truly engaged in the moment and investigative as we discover what’s important in each moment. In this time, nothing else matters. There’ll be mutual respect for each other, openness, compassion and a commitment to being truthful and authentic – even if that can be sometimes uncomfortable to experience.

 Saying things out loud is important in the coaching space and I will always ensure that any dream no matter how big or small is acceptable to explore. Anything can be a focus and how achievements are defined is up to the client. I hold the belief that any goal is within reach as long as the client truly want to achieve it and with this I draw inspiration from the “Solutions Focused” coach to use the time and space in the session to explore how to progress and what to draw from in order to move the client forwards. With this in mind I encourage the client to believe that dedication is paramount to success, and everything else will follow with time. The pathway to get to the end “medal moment” may not be straightforward, but it will be achievable, and how we break that down is part of how I coach. The goal setting process is positioned as one that’s never ending and ever evolving. Goals change as one develops, and the coaching environment encourages the client to recognise this and evolve alongside it step by step, always acknowledging where they are now, and the steps they can take to move up the scale towards their desired goal(s). They can be added to at any time, they can change direction, they can get bigger or more focused, because goals, just like the client, are limitless.

 It also goes without saying that goals, and achieving, them may not be the end result for some clients and may not be the focus one hundred percent of the time, and that is, of course, fine. If a client leaves a session with a heightened sense of awareness, or is more focused, or has more clarity, or has changed or developed a certain mindset then the session or time spent together is something that has a sense of achievement attached to it. Eventual acceptance of this by the client is something also to be celebrated.

 In conclusion, whomever the client, whatever the path, whatever the desired end result, when coaching I’m side by side with my client, we are in it together. I invite the client to go through a process of discovery, a process of challenge, a process of transformation and of reflection too. I ask clients to get there by seeking out what’s true to them, finding their values and the essence of what makes them who they are and how that forms their every desire. I invite them to identify what makes them feel alive and what makes them feel fulfilled and then work out how to relate that to whatever it is they bring to the coaching space session by session. I help the client discover what success looks like to them and how they feel they can reach it. Clients are encouraged to think beyond any limits they hold and always have “what else” to ask of themselves. In short I want both myself and my clients to feel empowered both when we are in the coaching moment and when we have left the space. The client should feel capable in all they do and they should feel like they can achieve anything they desire.