A REFLECTION ON THE TASK - SUNDAY 8th MARCH 2020.

On March 8th, 2019 I decided to commit to a daily entry on instagram. It was International Women’s Day and I was inspired by Lululemon’s global campaign to encourage forward thinking and goal setting for women every day of the year, not just on one day, so I posted a thought starter each morning - it was something reflective, motivational, devotional or observational. It wasn’t always original, but I always credited my sources. What it always was was authentic. It came from my heart and it proved to be a reminder for me to go about my day with a goal to focus on, which is why I continued each day to post. It was something for me that made me accountable to myself, that inspired me when days were tough and that kept me forward focused. If someone else got something out of it it was an amazing bonus, which spurred me on to keep going, but it wasn’t my main driver. The feedback and support I received was truly touching though, and I’ll be forever grateful for those that took the time to share that I’d sometimes helped them through a tricky thought, or gave them space to come unstuck. Each post obviously has something of myself and the mindset I was currently holding that day in it. I never made them personal, however there was something in my heart that called for me to write what I did each day. 

Looking back at what I would call my “essay for the year” is that I’ve just gone for it, in all that I’ve done. Starting this was an idea born from a brand’s marketing materials. I wasn’t asked to do it, no one cared if I continued or stopped, but I committed and I did it, and I didnt stop there. 

The “just go for it” side of me seems to have crept up on me -  I’ve no idea where it came from or how it developed, but recently, over a few years, I’ve learned to have the courage to just go for it. More so in the last 12 months. If I look back at all I’ve done, there seems to be an element of bravery which didn’t always exist. I ran a marathon despite being an overweight, unfit party girl (I’ve now run six!), I've learned to ski in my thirties despite being scared of heights, I trained to be a coach despite never having been educated or gone through a learning experience beyond secondary school. I’ve taken risks in my career just to see what the outcome would be. I’ve had the conversations I’d have usually been too shy or too afraid to have, I’ve made unlikely friends, I’ve asked for things I would have normally thought I didn’t deserve. I could go on, but I think you get the picture. 

Not everything I’ve mentioned, and not everything I’ve “just gone for” has been a success - I get embarrassed when I mess up, my ego is dented when I fail, it hurts when plans don’t go the way I imagined but I learned that these feelings pass, regret doesn’t. So whilst everything hasn’t gone “my way” on paper, I’d actually argue that it has, because every “failure” is a lesson learned, and a path pivoted, and every success is a “medal moment” for me to celebrate. 

So to reflect deeper into these past twelve months specifically I’ve done quite a bit that a past me would have avoided. I’ve ran another marathon, which I promised myself I wouldn’t do years ago, and I finished beaming with pride. I’ve put my family first over anything else which is something I haven’t always felt able to do, I’ve repaired friendships, I’ve let people go, I’ve deep dived into learning again, I’ve signed up for a yoga teacher training despite often feeling inadequately qualified to start, I’ve participated in events I thought I didn't belong in, I’ve held my first public workshop, I’ve taken the trips I couldn’t quite find the time for or afford but the memories I’ve banked outweigh any of the obstacles I put up, and most recently I quit my job. I quit the high flying, high responsibility, ego feeding job and I’ve decided to reset. By doing this I’ve had to do a lot of work on me. I let myself be defined by what I did and where, rather than let that feed who I wanted to be. I’ve had to look at my boundaries and priorities as certain stressors have gone and others have emerged. I’ve had to get comfortable with the slowing down I longed for. 

So for me the other 364 days of this past year were about learning about myself, really and truly listening to myself and allowing the person I am, and the dreams I may have been silencing, to have more of a voice. The work I want to continue exploring as each day continues to pass is centred around knowing I can dream and knowing that just trying is the success story I thrive to tell. “Win” or “Lose” I just have to try, and by trying I’ll keep learning and keep opening doors until I’m “home”, and if I never get “home” it’s ok as I’ll have travelled many a path with many an experience and memory to share. 

So I’ll close this down by saying, from experience, it doesn’t matter how qualified or not you think you are, it doesn’t matter if you’re worried about being accepted into the fold or if you think you don’t belong, it doesn’t matter if it scares you to your core, if it feels like something you want to do you have to try, as otherwise you’ll never know what could have been. Onwards.

THE TASK - “THE OTHER 364” 2019-2020.

The below is a daily entry that started on International Women’s Day, March 8th, 2019. I was inspired by Lululemon’s global campaign to encourage forward thinking and goal setting for women every day of the year, not just on one day. My daily thought starter is for everyone, and will continue to be updated until March 7, 2020.

Bonus: do the reps. Reps aren’t just for the gym - keep repeating whatever it is you want to excel at until you’re comfortable that you’ve found your voice. 

The Other 364. Day 364.

Tell someone you want to see them win. Ask them what you can do to help that. Watch them transform instantly. 

The Other 364. Day 363.

Distance yourself from whatever you choose to keep close, just for a short time. Do you miss it or could you actually benefit from more space?

The Other 364. Day 362.

People rarely talk about their failures. Ask someone about a failure and what they learned from it. It’ll be a far more fulfilling conversation than one centred around the wins.

The Other 364. Day 361.

Saying no to things that don’t make you feel good is liberating. Remember you always have a choice.

The Other 364. Day 360.

Giving your all doesn’t equal doing it all. Think about the quality of your effort not the quantity of things on your plate.

The Other 364. Day 359.

Living the “high life” isn’t always the best life. Appreciate where you are and what you’re doing. Make that the best it can be, make the moment a version of “the high life” and stop wishing for more. 

The Other 364. Day 358.

When you get through the door hold it open for others to follow. Take that as literally or as figuratively as you wish. 

The Other 364. Day 357.

Speak kindly when you fail - don’t say “that was so stupid of me...” say “that was so human” - humans make errors and they can be corrected.

The Other 364. Day 356.

What are your non-negotiable needs? 

The Other 364. Day 355. 

If you said you’ll keep in touch do so. If you said you’d repay the support, work out how. 

The Other 364. Day 354

Feel your feelings don’t just recognise them. Thrive in them 

The Other 364. Day 353.

Name one thing today that you never want to change about yourself. Then try it tomorrow, and then for the rest of the week. 

The Other 364. Day 352.

Pain isn’t painful, it’s our judgement of the pain that brings the discomfort 

The Other 364. Day 351.

Accept that it wasn’t meant to be any different than it was now. Accepting the present will reap amazing results. 

The Other 364. Day 350.

Notice the quality of your thoughts. They determine your external mood. 

The Other 364. Day 349.

Whatever you feel you’ve lost was meant to move on. Pay more attention to what has remained. There’s a reason it’s stayed with you. 

The Other 364. Day 348.

Value things that don’t cost you anything. Show up to the free event as whilst it came at no cost to you, it will have cost someone time, energy and effort. 

At the same time take pride in giving what costs you nothing of monetary value - a smile, a thank you, asking a question and truly listening can mean more than anything material. 

The Other 364. Day 347.

Credit your source. Tell someone you were inspired by them. Be proud that you’ve adapted what they taught you. 

The Other 364. Day 346.

Remember you’re full of potential, not full of perfect. The perfect meal is a meal that is done, and we’re all far from being done. So celebrate expanding rather than finishing whatever it is your doing. 

The Other 364. Day 345.

Words have so much power so make sure you’re saying what you absolutely mean to say. What you might think is a flippant comment could have a lasting effect on someone, so make sure what you say is intended to last. If it’s not something you’d be happy repeating in the future don’t say it in the present.  

The Other 364. Day 344.

Be willing to forgive yourself as much as you forgive others. 

The Other 364. Day 343

Write yourself a love letter.

Be honest, be celebratory, be arrogant, be simple, be kind, be extravagant with your words. Write everything you’re proud of, everything you are surprised of, write everything you don’t want to forget about when thinking about just how great you are. 

When you think you’ve finished force one more sentence. 

And then read it back, out loud. Maybe to your reflection. 

The Other 364. Day 342.

Is there something you can reclaim as yours today? 

The Other 364. Day 341.

How you act when in pain is justified. Sometimes you just need to allow survival mode to do its magic. 

The Other 364. Day 340.

How well do you really know your friends? Can you have a conversation with them about all you admire in them; or do you just take that as given? Have the conversation you’ve never had before - tell them how they inspire you. 

The Other 364. Day 339.

Time doesn’t heal all wounds. Addressing and tending to them is the only way to heal. That may take time for sure, but don’t let time pass without action. 

The Other 364. Day 338.

If something feels like it’s breaking you think about what it might be building for you instead. Resilience is an amazing trait, not often recognised. 

The Other 364. Day 337.

Can you tune in to following your heart today? Give it some time and space and see where it leads you. 

The Other 364. Day 336.

Remind yourself of something you’re proud of from yesterday.

The Other 364. Day 335.

Adversity tends to bring out the truest of behaviours. In times like those remember who stuck to their word, who reached out a hand, who supported and who didn’t. If there’s someone close to you experiencing such times decide how you want to act and be consistent. They need consistency at this time, not empty promises or un-thought-out actions. 

The Other 364. Day 333.

Start your day committing to five deep breaths before you do anything else.  

The Other 364. Day 332.

Work on yourself first. 

The Other 364. Day 331.

Did you hear what someone said or imagine what they meant? 

The Other 364. Day 330.

Ask yourself what is it that you truly need right now, just in this very moment. 

The Other 364. Day 329.

You’re allowed to change your mind. 

The Other 364. Day 328.

Celebrate what IS rather than what WAS. Acknowledge it in the moment rather than looking back and reminiscing 

The Other 364. Day 327.

Things can’t change if you’re not willing to.

The Other 364. Day 326.

The cure for any challenge is to live with the challenge. 

The Other 364. Day 325.

Work to have more fond memories over  entertaining stories. 

The Other 364. Day 324.

Before you react to something external that’s bothering you try saying “It’s not personal” a few times. Does that change your reaction, or even just the magnitude of the reaction?

The Other 364. Day 323.

You don’t have to say yes to every opportunity that presents itself. Only say yes if you can truly benefit, if you’re willing to truly “turn up” and if it’ll truly make you happy. There’s power in turning things down if they aren’t aligned for you. 

The Other 364. Day 322.

Frustrations and questions and blockages and answers you were not hoping for are all part of the progress. Keep going. 

The Other 364. Day 321.

Ask this question each time you’re with someone today: Do you like who you are when you’re around them? 

The Other 364. Day 320.

Do one thing that you consider simple - it doesn’t take much effort, it may not be considered as impressive but devote some of your day to a simple task. Note how it makes you feel. 

The Other 364. Day 319.

You might be considered “too much” for some people, but that’s their concern not yours. Shine as you need to, as you’ll be inspiring more people than you’ll ever know. 

The Other 364. Day 318.

You won’t be remembered for all the time you spent at your desk. You’ll be remembered by how you spent your time with people and how you were true to your word. So make sure you spend time with people, be true to your word and your values. Make memories. 

The Other 364. Day 317.

Check in on the vulnerable friend, the friend who seemingly has it all together, the friend you’ve not seen for a while, the friend you only spoke to yesterday. Check in from the friend who hasn’t posted in a while, the friend who posts all the time. Check in on the one who is always happy, check in on the one who isn’t. And when you check in genuinely mean what you ask, and be willing to listen to the response. If you’re on the receiving end of a check in answer authentically and pay it forward. 

The Other 364. Day 316.

You can’t erase what’s happened but you draw what happens next. 

The Other 364. Day 315.

Remove the word proud and replace it with inspired. Tell someone you’re inspired by them and it’ll motivate them further. Aim to inspire rather than aiming to make someone proud and you’ll find more enlightenment with what you do. Pride suggests external validation but inspiration comes from within.  

The Other 364. Day 314.

Love and respect everyone, including yourself, for who they are, not what they/you want them to be. 

The Other 364. Day 313.

Ask yourself what you’re resisting only out of fear.

The Other 364. Day 312.

Things change by your actions, not your opinions 

The Other 364. Day 311.

Forgive yourself. Move on from one thing that you can’t seem to shake off. Be firm and show yourself acceptance.

The Other 364. Day 310.

Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should

The Other 364. Day 309.

Your difference is your power - don’t strive to fit in, be proud standing out. 

The Other 364. Day 308.

Challenge your ego. Go back to being a beginner, deliberately go slower, be in an environment where you’re not perfect.

The Other 364. Day 307.

If you want to feel something you need to act it. Results come from focus and dedication to the outcome.

The Other 364. Day 306.

You are more than what you think you are defined by. You’re not just a job title, a spouse, a parent. You’re not a postcode or an age or a salary. You are limitless and you can decide who you are at any given moment. Whomever it is you want to be just ensure you believe in them with your whole heart.

The Other 364. Day 305.

Criticism is hard to hear, but it’s also something you can’t control as it’s wholly based on external opinion. How you react is completely in your control. 

The Other 364. Day 304.

Do you hear the words or what you think was meant by them?

The Other 364. Day 303.

If it’s not speaking to you don’t commit to it - you’ll set yourself up for failure. If you’re the goal setting type set goals that call to you. 

The Other 364. Day 302.

Rather than set goals that change something about you think about celebrating what you want to keep the same. Remind yourself of things you do well. 

The Other 364. Day 301.

Accept how you are feeling today, don’t try to change anything 

The Other 364. Day 300. 

Don’t judge your beginnings too harshly - no one starts as an expert.

The other 364. Day 299.

The most simple of equations you need to remember is that you only get out of something what you put in. 

The other 364. Day 298.

What would you prefer to feel - the pain of change & discipline or the pain of regret?

The other 364. Day 297.

Whatever is truly your purpose won’t feel like a chore. The effort may feel challenging but you wouldn’t be reluctant about getting stuck in if it’s what you want to do/where you want to be. 

The other 364. Day 296.

Change one habit. Place the yoga mat down in another space in the room, walk a different way to the coffee shop, answer the phone differently. See how it makes you feel. 

The other 364. Day 295.

Thoughts of “not being good enough” are natural. You’ve eaten too much, spent too much, not done enough exercise, not progressed enough, you’ve not split your time effectively enough, the list can go on.  These thoughts can be overwhelming so when you start to feel that way remind yourself that you’re human, and accept that you need to enjoy the moments for what they are and not the projected perfect you’re imagining when those feelings take over. If you truly feel a change is needed think about how you do want to feel in the future and focus. 

The other 364. Day 294.

A lesson in “Non-attachment” can be life changing. Consider this short task: 

Remember a traumatic or troubling experience that had a negative impact on you. Write one paragraph detailing what happened. Write a second paragraph explaining the ways this happening had a less than constructive impact on you personally.  Take a break. Go back to the paper and write one last paragraph from the opposing point of view - find at least one positive way to view the trauma, find something that it taught you - even if it’s as simple as “I survived it even when I thought I wouldn’t”. To find the good in the trauma is non-attachment at its purest essence, and something that will allow greater clarity of mind if you practise it on the regular. 

The other 364. Day 293.

Start before you are ready. 

The other 364. Day 292.

Drink as you pour. Anything you’ve done for others give yourself. Likewise anything You’ve received from others, find a way to give back or pay forward. 

The other 364. Day 291.

Find comfort in silence.

The other 364. Day 290.

If you’re avoiding it you probably need to do it, now. 

The other 364. Day 289.

Any real change is painful. Otherwise it’s likely you’re not changing very much. 

The other 364. Day 288.

Don’t write the story before it happens. Being present will let the story unfold in front of you rather than be controlled by preconceptions. 

The other 364. Day 287.

What can you change today that will make a difference?

The other 364. Day 286.

Talk to each other, not about each other. 

The other 364. Day 285.

What you think you become. Treat your thoughts like an inner voice - what gets said matters. 

The other 364. Day 284.

It’s not the mistakes that matter, it’s how you recover from them. 

The other 364. Day 283. 

If you lost a battle but found yourself; or even unearthed something you didn’t know about yourself in the process; you won. 

The other 364. Day 282.

If you’ve ever felt like there was more to life it’s because there is. Quieten your mind and close your eyes for just two minutes and see what comes up that you’ve not been able to hear, or what you’ve been ignoring. The more you do this the more open you will become to all that’s around you.

The other 364. Day 281.

It’s impossible to clear all of your commitments but it’s not impossible to clear some time for you too - just make that a non negotiable commitment too. 

The other 364. Day 280.

If you knew then what you know now you wouldn’t be where you are today. You’re on this path, focus on what you want to do in the future, not constantly thinking “if only I’d known...”

The other 364. Day 279.

You can do anything but not everything. Be upfront with what you’re capable of and give that your all 

The other 364. Day 278.

Stop waiting for others to tell you. Stop waiting for a sign. Make it happen yourself - write the email, send the text, call someone, set the meeting whatever it is just make it happen yourself. 

The other 364. Day 277.

If there’s something you wish you had done, something you wish you’d said there’s still time. There’s always time. You set the deadlines, you can extend them. So start it or say it. 

The other 364. Day 276.

Notice your self talk. Would you let your friend talk to you the way you’re talking to yourself? Would you talk to your friend that way too? Talk to yourself thoughtfully. 

The other 364. Day 275.

It’s no good just burying your head in a book and Learning. You have to apply it too. Experience is where the real learning happens. 

The other 364. Day 274.

Everything has an expiration date - nothing lasts forever. So decide what you’ll be remembered for in any and all aspects of what you do and move forwards each day to live out that legacy. 

The other 364. Day 273.

Find a way of being ok with apologies that won’t be said. That’s how you heal. 

The other 364. Day 272.

Can you remember the last thing you said yes to. What was it? A question? An offer of something? An ask of your time? 

Switch it. What do you want to say yes to more? What do you need to do and where do you need to be spiritually, mentally and physically in order to say yes more. 

The other 364. Day 271.

Where the attention goes your energy will flow. Make it count. 

The other 364. Day 270.

Letting go doesn’t mean you’re quitting, it means you’re simply not carrying the past into the present. Letting go is protective and forward focused. 

The other 364. Day 269.

Do something today you’ll remember. Make an effort which leads to changing your mindset or learning something new. Say something that solidifies a connection with something else. Make today count 

The other 364. Day 268.

Be ok losing friends, families, partners, jobs, opportunities but never ever be ok losing yourself.

The other 364. Day 267.

The greatest gift you can offer someone is the chance to be themselves, not who you want them to be. Stop projecting your ideals and embrace their authenticity.

The other 364. Day 266.

Lean into everything with bravery. Even if you have to dig deep, even if you need someone to hold your hand, be brave. Step into discomfort, step into the unknown, be brave. 

The other 364. Day 265.

Give and take needs to always be equal. 

The other 364. Day 264.

For every complaint you articulate match it with something you’re grateful for too. Relate the gratitude to the complaint, try to find a balance. 

The other 364. Day 263.

You are the person who talks to yourself the most. Make those conversations matter. 

The other 364. Day 262.

If you are not willing to make a change you do not have a right to complain about how someone else is attempting to make one to resolve whatever it is they are working on. Respect their space, and respect yours. 

The other 364. Day 261.

So many people love you. So many people support you. So many people trust you. So many people look up to you. Focus on them, not the people who don’t. 

The other 364. Day 260. 

Be a cheerleader. 

Cheer so loud people don’t have a choice but to take notice. Lift others up so they can be seen and heard. Support the vision, support the ideas, support the opinions. Pull people through when their light may be fading, let there be no question that they are doing the right thing and that people need them. 

The other 364. Day 259.

Think about how much more you share without needing to. Can you consciously hold back and only give the information needed, without any unasked extras included?

The other 364. Day 258.

Before you get to sleep spend 5 minutes to think of three things you’re looking forward to tomorrow. See how that makes you feel as you end the day; and how it makes you feel in the morning. 

The other 364. Day 257.

Not everything has to happen all at once. 

The other 364. Day 256.

If you really wanted to, you would. 

The other 364. Day 255. 

Try to see things a little less personally today. When something happens don’t think about the impact it has on you, but think about the origin or how it might develop from here in a more general sense. Taking the “personal” out of the situation changes the mindset towards it completely. 

The other 364. Day 254.

Stop trying so hard to be “somebody” and instead focus that energy on just being. This will encourage you to be more comfortable in your own skin, finding out that you’re already somebody. 

The other 364. Day 253.

Who you are is not your name, your age, your gender, your location. It runs deeper than that. Who you are is more about your values and actions and how you choose to express them. Let them shine today. 

The other 364. Day 252.

You’ll be eternally grateful that you didn’t get what you wanted way back when. Let that sink in. 

The other 364. Day 251.

Move today like no one is watching you. That can be physically move, emotionally move, academically move or spiritually move. Move like there are no restrictions, even if just for one step. 

The other 364. Day 250.

One comment or sentence can change someone’s day. Make sure what you say has purpose before you say it

The other 364. Day 249.

You have to ask the question, otherwise you’ll never get an answer. You have to go for what you want, otherwise you’ll never have a chance of receiving it. Go for it today, in a confident way and just see where it gets you. 

The other 364. Day 248.

Mundane or “annoying” tasks aren’t getting in the way of the master plan - they are part of it. They are part of the process and deserve just as much attention as the bigger, more exciting, more obviously fruitful actions you need to take. 

The other 364. Day 247.

Where can you ask for support this week? Be mindful that wherever you ask for it, truly embrace it. Let that person in, let them own how they are assisting you along the way. 

The other 364. Day 246.

No one that truly matters wants to see you fail and they’ll do anything they can to help you on the road to success. If you feel like you’re being set up to fail question the motive, ask for the reasoning behind the action, don’t settle for anything other than genuine support. 

The other 364. Day 245.

Be brave enough to demand more for yourself. 

The other 364. Day 244.

Adventures don’t have to be big and bold and public. They can be quiet and private too. 

The other 364. Day 243.

You cannot evolve if you only spend time with yourself or in the same environment. Mix it up. 

The other 364. Day 242.

Make a list of the things that make you happy. You’ll find that most of that list, if not all, will only require time over anything else. Commit to doing one thing a week if not one thing a day, even if you have to wake a little earlier or get to sleep a little later in order to add it to your day. 

The other 364. Day 241.

You cannot half-arse your dreams. You have to be 100% dedicated to realising them in order to make them a reality. Anything less and it just won’t happen, and you won’t deserve the right to be upset if that is so. 

The other 364. Day 240.

Whatever it is you’re doing always remember it is not about how fast you get there, but how strong you cross the finish line. 

This is a mantra from a dear Friend, relating to race day but you can adapt this for anything. Do your prep, don’t take shortcuts, be calm in the process and finish whatever it is with your head held high. 

The other 364. Day 239.

Being scared or nervous means you care. Use that energy to propel you forwards rather than hold you back. 

The other 364. Day 238.

You are limitless. 

The other 364. Day 237.

Get to know the projector before you judge how they project. 

This relates to the person who you’ve heard doesn’t like you. To the boss who’s actions frustrate you. To the person you’ve once been close to who has suddenly become distant. The parent who behaves in a way you want to question. To the family member you have disagreed with. 

Whatever the opinion, whatever the circumstance try to get to know them, and what’s made them act that way. Take out your feelings towards them for a moment and try to understand what’s made them act this way. It may not be always as simple as there’s a conflict between your thoughts and values. There could be something affecting their actions too, and they may need your support rather than your resistance. 

The other 364. Day 236.

Mirror the seasons. Be open to change, embrace whatever happens knowing your environment and mindset will eventually change. 

The other 364. Day 235.

Love for who they are. Not who they want to be or who they were but who they are right now. 

The other 364. Day 234.

Are you really in tune with the people you encounter today or are you just seeing your thoughts about them. For example, you’ve said she looks tired. Do you know that? Have you asked her? Or are you just assuming? 

The other 364. Day 233.

Start the week knowing it’s a good thing if you’re not where you thought you wanted to be. Be grateful that you’re on this path now, be excited for what’s ahead. 

The other 364. Day 232.

Just start something. It doesn’t matter if you’re ready, just do it. Everyone has to start somewhere and you’ll get better with every mistake made along the way. 

The other 364. Day 231.

Don’t put all your energy into being liked by everyone you meet. It’s impossible to be something to everyone you encounter. Focus your efforts on those that reflect them back instead. 

The other 364. Day 230.

Time is the only entity you can’t get back. Spend that more wisely than your wages. Plan your time as intricately as you plan your spend. Think of time as fun and frivolous like you would purchasing a treat but also honor and respect it too. Strive for more time spent differently like you would a pay rise. 

The other 364. Day 229.

Have you already talked yourself out of something? 

The other 364. Day 228.

For everyone that has a job, you are working to problem solve. That is the fundamental function of anything you are employed to do. No matter the job, no matter the position it all comes down to that. Keep that in mind when it gets too much - and pragmatically solve each layer of the problem. Also keep that in mind when you’re uninspired or demotivated. It’s simply a problem, and you are best placed to solve it. You can solve it simply or creatively, and you have access to everything you need in order to do that. 

The other 364. Day 227.

The present is the only place you live. Stop giving as much time to the nostalgic or regretful past or the willingness or fear of the future and focus your energy into making the most of this moment, right now. 

The other 364. Day 226.

 Reposition giving something up as making space to gain something else. 

The other 364. Day 225.

Thinking about flow. How one movement glides seamlessly into the other from waking to sleeping. Nothing stops, you just might slow down from time to time. Recognise this. Recognise today that you’re constantly moving, evolving around your day. Spend some time closing your eyes and really feeling how it feels. Make small amends to how you move, how you talk, how you listen so that you can truly experience your day and not just let it rush by. 

The other 364. Day 224.

Never underestimate someone’s strength. You’ll be surprised how much someone can pull it together and rally through when they really want something. Match that strength. Put all your energy into lifting that person up and through whatever it is they are reaching for. 

The other 364. Day 223.

Always say thank you. Say thank you to everyone you encounter that has helped make your day that little bit easier. That’s the person who holds the door for you, who hands you the umbrella you may have forgotten as you leave the train, who gives you your coffee and says to enjoy your day, the colleague who randomly checks in and asks how you are, the stranger who was just doing their job but may have just made your day more bearable. Say thank you. 

The other 364. Day 222.

What three things would make today great. Action them as soon as you can and really notice what difference each of those things make as the day progresses. 

The other 364. Day 221.

You might never be ready, so just show up as you are.

The other 364. Day 220.

Give your fears some thought today. Maybe even write them down. Think not just about what you’re fearful of but how it makes you feel. Notice your breath, how you feel about your immediate surroundings. With that fear acknowledged can you then take a step to the side and think about one way you could confront it - the first thing that comes to mind. How does that make you feel? How have you differed? Think of a second way to dissipate the fear. Again, how does it make you feel? (This is why writing things down can help) By addressing fears and breaking them down they can often seem more manageable.

 The other 364. Day 219.

Time passes whether you’re ready for it to or not. Don’t drift. Act with purpose.

 The other 364. Day 218.

Buy for the person you actually are, not who you want to be. Don’t buy a size too small hoping to fit in to it. Don’t buy food you know you’re never going to cook. Don’t buy into whatever anyone else is doing , wherever they are going. Buy into what suits you here and now. Buy into what makes you smile and what will make for lasting, positive experiences.

 The other 364. Day 217.

Think about connections today. Think about those that are easy, those that you don’t even have to think about. Those are the calls that you automatically make, you automatically take, the messages that just appear and the messages you immediately answer. Why is that so?

Think about those connections that take more of your attention. Why are they left unanswered, why are they defaulted to “later”.

Think about those that need you to make the first move, think about those that come to you first.

Connections are multifaceted and full of deep deep layers.

The other 364. Day 216.

Can you let go of something today - something that’s weighing down your thoughts? Can you just accept that whatever it is what is what it is and move on.

The other 364. Day 215.

Bigger, better, faster, stronger isn’t always better. As long as you learn it doesn’t matter if you finished first, bettered your time, built it bigger, lifted the most.

The other 364. Day 214.

Do you call it a testing time or a time of opportunity? Reframing it as something you can learn from rather than resist will make it easier to work through.

The other 364. Day 213.

Ask someone to teach you something today. Ask the question and really listen to the answer. Reflect on why you asked that particular question and vow to apply it.

The other 364. Day 212.

Want and intend are different. You can want something all you like but without an intention to achieve it’ll never materialise. Work out what it is you want, then work hard each and every day to get it.

The other 364. Day 211.

What’s your upgrade today? Is it an extra shot in the coffee? An extra mile on the run, are you able to add something to your look? Work out how to elevate something today and own it. 

The other 364. Day 210.

A change of season can bring a change of mindset. Autumn is the most powerful season - it brings the most visible change around you, and I’m a big believer that that change also happens within you. Leaves fall, light is more precious, winds rattle past. Stop today and work out how the season is working it’s magic on you.

The other 364. Day 209.

Just do your best with what you have within you today.

The other 364. Day 208.

There is no medal for pretending that everything is fine.

The other 364. Day 207.

No one has their shit together all the time.

The other 364. Day 206.

You don’t have to be inspired every day. You don’t have to be motivated every day. You can have off days, days where you need to take a step back. Allow yourself that freedom.

The other 364. Day 205.

Quick fixes are a false economy. Take the time to get it done, and respect the time it takes.

The other 364. Day 204.

Is there a plan for autumn? There doesn’t have to be, but as a new month is in the horizon now is the time to start thinking about how you want to end the year - there’s still time (there’s always time) to make any improvements, changes or amends to any and all areas of your life if you want to. You could well be on track too, and with that think about what you need in place to remain constant in your goals.

The other 364. Day 203.

Lose the expectation and just show up today.

The other 364. Day 202.

Awareness is the first step towards change. Audit how you feel - are you trying to appear stronger than you really feel? Are you saying yes to please others when you really don’t have the capacity? Are you being passive because you are avoiding conflict?

The other 364. Day 201.

Consider that you might not be getting attention because your ability speaks for itself, and your teachers know you’ve got this. Trust them, they are intuitive and know how to test their students. And trust yourself - you know you know what you’re doing. If you really feel neglected or in need of assistance ask for it.

The other 364. Day 200.

Be authentically you. The fronts you put up will only exhaust you. So show up as you really are each day. You can be flawed, you don’t need to know all the answers, you can have fun. You can dress as you like, speak as you need, tap into your skill sets and ask for help. By pretending to be and do something you’re not you’re wasting valuable energy.

The other 364. Day 199.

Make amends. Tie up the loose end. Be the bigger person and be the one who finishes any unfinished business.

The other 364. Day 198.

Value all connections. Value the connections that come easy. Value the ones that test you. The connections that need work, the ones you don’t even know are there, those that are long standing, those that are made daily - all are valid in their own unique way.

The other 364. Day 197.

Slow down. Slow down on purpose and enjoy the change of pace.

The other 364. Day 196.

Think of endings as the completion of that particular contract rather than something you will grieve. More often than not you won’t be able to go back, so if you view it as whole and complete you’ll be able to move on much quicker than if there’s a feeling of something unfinished.

The other 364. Day 195.

Think about how you give advice. Remember you’re not living the other person’s life for them and you only know one side of the situation. Whatever you’re suggesting most likely comes from what you would do in that situation, and maybe not what might be best for them to act. Take a beat and think about what advice you’re giving and how it’s being positioned.

The other 364. Day 194.

Can you flip the roles today? Rather than asking for help can you help someone? Can the talker be the listener? Can the assistant be the leader today. Encourage yourself to switch the power in one element of your day.

The other 364. Day 193.

Stick to everything you committed to today. The to-do list, the call to your family, the difficult conversation, the thing you really want to do but you don’t want to be “selfish”. Do it. Do all of it, and do it today. In full.

The other 364. Day 192.

When was the last time you felt like you were truly truly happy and content? What were the conditions that surrounded you? Was it somewhere specific or was it with anyone in particular? What did it feel like? Why do you remember that moment in time? Now what can you do to bring that into any time where you don’t feel truly happy and content?

The other 364. Day 191.

Be the person that tries the hard things. Everyone can master the things that come easier but by attempting the more challenging you are showing that you’re willing to learn and willing to evolve.

The other 364. Day 190.

Don’t put off doing the fun things just because there’s no one to do them with. Do them alone. If the experience is worth it you won’t notice anyone else around you anyway. If it’s barrier to be alone you’ll be forced to make friends - even if just for that moment in time.

The other 364. Day 189.

Learn how to let go of the grudges. You hold them internally as well as against others. Notice, acknowledge and release.

The other 364. Day 188.

Just keep trying. Knock on all the doors, do all of the things. Be open to any experience, change direction, change intention. Something will eventually land, and it’ll be what’s truest to you, even if you don’t know it yet.

The other 364. Day 187.

It’s not about coming first with your goals - winning looks different to everyone. To me winning is about remembering, creating a lasting moment that I learn from, that makes me smile when I look back. Always keep in mind what winning looks like to you.

The other 364. Day 186.

Begin your day in your body. Comb through it, see how it feels from top to bottom and give your attention to the parts of the body that’s telling you it needs a little more care today.

 The other 364. Day 185.

Take care of yourself so that you can truly take care of others. It starts from within.

The other 364. Day 184.

Remember how you feel when you’re inspired and encouraged by someone. Pay it forward to move with intention to inspire and encourage those around you. It’ll come full circle.

The other 364. Day 183.

Lose the expectation to be the same every day and honour what’s going on today. So what if yesterday you ate well, could get up to see sunrise, ran 10miles, mastered the task list. Each day is new. Each day has different energy levels, each day has a different lesson to teach and purpose to give.

The other 364. Day 182.

Rest. Rest your mind, rest your body, rest your soul. It’s ok to reset every now and again.

The other 364. Day 181.

Observe and absorb today. Everything and anything you can.

 The other 364. Day 180.

 Acknowledge something you have today that you prayed for previously.

It’s no secret that priorities change and with that mindsets change too - but take a moment to be grateful for something you may dismiss as “normal” today as you longed for it in the past. It could be the job you currently feel tired by - it was your dream job once. It could be the material item you saved for, the house you bought that might need a little repair now.

There’ll be something around you that you once thought was only ever going to be a dream. Be grateful, but continue dreaming too - some come true. This is proof.

 The other 364. Day 179

 Just do it. Just have the conversation you’ve been putting off, eat the food you’ve never tried, talk to the stranger, wear the outfit you fell in love with but think it might be “too much”, just do it. You’re making whatever it is way more scary than it actually is by putting it off. It’s so freeing to just go for it, and the feeling afterwards is amazing. You’ll wonder what was holding you back and you’ll wonder what more you can achieve if you just let go.

 The other 364. Day 178.

How much are you truly alone, and how much do you need alone time?

Can you make a note of how long it takes for you to talk to someone, or to interact.

I talk constantly to myself when I’m on my own, from the moment I wake up, and then look for any way to connect each and every day. it’s a hello to someone as I pass them, a conversation with the team at the coffee store, a wave to the driver who let me pass as I cross the road. I feel constantly connected to my own little community. I think it’s that habit that makes me crave alone time.

The other 364. Day 177.

Recommend something to someone, it’ll create a connection with them.

The other 364. Day 176.

 Happiness looks great on everyone. The mighty Roald Dahl once said “a person who has good thoughts could never be ugly” - words to live by today.

 The other 364. Day 175.

 Start over as many times as you need to. It’s the start of a new month tomorrow and a perfect excuse to pivot in any way you need to.

The other 364. Day 174.

 Trust that you already know how to do something today. Accept that you’ve got the capacity and the learnings to accomplish whatever it is. Do it with pride, with your head held high and just get it done. Sometimes you need to stop trying to learn everything there is to learn and instead do everything you can do.

 The other 364. Day 173.

 What do you want to make a little room for today? 

The other 364. Day 172.

 Knowing when to be available and unavailable is one of the best skills to learn, then practise. It’s all down to realising your boundaries, respecting them but also having awareness of the needs of others. It’s a fine balance and generally comes down to being in tune with your gut instincts but once mastered it’ll make a huge difference to your energy levels, mood and so much more.

 The other 364. Day 171.

 What’s your love language?

 Some people show love with gifts, some with grand gestures. For me it’s time. Time can’t be given back so the random call or message from no where means the world to me - the time it took to compose and send is un-returnable. Spending time, making memories that’s what matters to most. I’ll gladly give my time to those I love and I’ll always be grateful for those that share their time with me.

 The other 364. Day 170.

Drink as you pour.

 As the saying goes, “you can’t drink from an empty cup” so ensure you top up what you give out. Find a tribe that supports all you do and gives back to you as much as you put out there. At the same time remember to give back in equal measure each time you take out. It’s a simple concept of balance.

 The other 364. Day 169.

 Love. Love with your fullest of hearts today. Find something you love about everything you do and everyone you spend it with. Share why you love. Just love.

 The other 364. Day 168.

Keep light. Heaviness isn’t a number it’s a state of mind that weighs you down.

Keep the chin up. Smile and look forwards at all times. Find length in your body as you breathe. With heaviness you may feel sticky, or stuck. With lightness you’ll find more energy, and things will come to you quicker.

 The other 364. Day 167. 

Breathe in and be enlightened

Breathe out and be grounded.

 The other 364. Day 166.

Knowing you did enough is enough.

 If you can say you gave it your all that’s all you need to take on board. If feedback is given soak it up. Listen, learn, work out how it makes you feel and why so. If feedback is missing and yearned for ask yourself why. And be brave enough to ask for the feedback if it’ll clear your mind, but be ready to take on positive and negative feedback - the external validation you’re craving may not view things like you did.

 I’m still not 100% there with this one but know it’s something I need to work towards.

 The other 364. Day 165.

 You’ll do something today that you probably thought was beyond you a year ago. It might be run a mile, eat a lunch you cooked, have a conversation with someone you didn’t think you’d ever connect with. No matter how big or small remember that you’re constantly evolving and it’s good to recognise that from time to time.

 The other 364. Day 164.

 Is there anything you need to “unlearn” today? A habit that doesn’t serve you? The way you talk to yourself? Are you constantly seeking something external that you could give to yourself internally?

 The other 364. Day 163.

 Successful people don’t have a magic gene that made them that way. They worked hard, they made sacrifices, they found the time, they asked for help, they capitalised on every opportunity they could. They found mentors, they had a community around them that built them up and supported them. They knew their values and they stayed true to them. They stayed focused.

 The other 364. Day 162.

 Think about what makes you feel strong, and do it more often.

 Yesterday I ran 13 miles - I was nervous I’d be knackered, nervous it was too much on my mind let alone my legs. With only one wobble I got through it and I did it really well. Why? My mindset. I smiled. I made a conscious effort to continuously smile. Smiling keeps my head up, literally. When my head is up I’m more forward focused, making it easier to push through. It made those miles a breeze.

 I smile in the gym too. I’m sure a smile sends some kind of message to the brain that make you feel ok. And when you’re pushing through physical barriers you want to feel ok, or cheat it at least. I smile before a tough conversation, I smile before going into something I’m not looking forward to.

 So a smile is my strength. It’s not fake, I just focus on the good when I feel the need and it somehow pushes me through whatever it is.

 There’s simplicity in your strength too. You just need to find out what it is.

 The other 364. Day 161.

 What’s one thing you can do daily to feel more proud of yourself?

 The other 364. Day 160.

 Reflect on the working week before it ends.How has it been? Is there anything you can do today to help improve it or cement what you set out to achieve?

Do you need to step up today or back off a little? Can you do something a little different? Focus on something unusual? Or do you need to do more of something that fulfils you? Finish the working week strong, finish in a way only you know how.

 The other 364. Day 159.

 Pay attention to your senses today.

What do you really see? Look everywhere.

How often do you touch something? How does it actually feel?

Deeply listen. Not just to the words being said but how they are being said, the pace, the hesitation, the pauses.

Can you remember how each place you visit smells?

Can you taste something well after you’re finished eating?

Try to tune into your senses all day, and not just at the obvious times.

 The other 364. Day 158.

 Check in on the person who seems like they’ve got it together. They need the encouragement, the support, the opportunity to let their guard down.

 The other 364. Day 157.

 People like feeling useful - so ask.

 Ask for help, ask for advice, ask for their opinion, ask them what they think. Ask them if they think you should, ask them if they think you shouldn’t. Ask them what they would do. Ask them what their biggest regret is, their fears and their dreams. Ask them what they wish they could tell their younger self. Ask them what their plans are, where they always wanted to visit. Ask.

 The other 364. Day 156.

 It’s not the amount of time you’ve known or done something that matters.

 The strongest of any kind of relationships aren’t the ones that have the most time attributed to them. They are the ones that are the easiest to talk to, the honest conversations, the ones where no matter the time passed it’s like you saw each other yesterday. They are the ones where plans are easy to make, where understanding is key, which make you feel alive in their company.

 The same applies for habits and actions. Just because you’ve been doing it that way for an amount of time doesn’t make it right for you. Distrust. Find the method that makes you fizz, that drives you, that makes you reach for more. Switch these methods up regularly. Try new things. Give new things the same amount of time and respect that you give more established things.

 The other 364. Day 155.

 Own something, don’t just consume it.

 Inspired by something I’m reading related to owning clothing, you can relate the statement to everything.

 To own something is to cherish it. To own something is to repair it, to make it part of lasting memories, to have it as part of the journey.

 Consuming something eludes to something far less long lasting. If it breaks you replace it, if you don’t like it any more it’s relegated to unimportance. It’s fickle, it’s trend related, it’s got less longevity, it won’t make a lasting impact.

 To own is to work at it, to make it a part of you. Own your friendships, your experiences, your goals and your intentions. See them through. Remember them for all the right reasons. Repair any cracks, customise them to make them yours and think of them as something you’ll have forever.

 The other 364. Day 154.

 It’s never too late.

 It’s never too late to start.

It’s never too late to start again.

It’s never too late to try.

It’s never too late to change direction.

It’s never too late to ask for help.

It’s never too late to reconnnect.

It’s never too late to forgive.

It’s never too late to correct the mistakes.

It’s never too late to learn.

 The other 364. Day 153.

 Other people aren’t going to care as much as you all the time.

Other people aren’t going to be as generous with their time as you are.

Other people won’t hold the same values as you.

Other people won’t think it’s important, won’t remember, won’t have the attention to detail.

 It’s not your business how others operate. Don’t let those actions impact you, don’t judge them or compare. Just keep doing you, knowing you’ve done your best and acted as you felt appropriate.

 The other 364. Day 152.

 Do something today that’s right for you TODAY. Act for the person you actually are, not the imaginary future self as by doing so you’re strengthening yourself in the present which will allow development rather than acting for a person who may not even exist.

 The other 364. Day 151.

 If not you, than who? Someone else will be ready to jump into the opportunity you won’t take because you’re “not ready” for whatever reason. So before you make that call can you honestly say that you’re ok with someone else making the path you’re looking at their own?

The other 364. Day 150.

 Try to treat challenge with compassion today. If you’re faced with something trying or difficult see if you can see the “why” in it, and address it with care and kindness.

 Challenge and difficulty will always be present but if you can view how you deal with it with a more caring mindset it’ll not seem so overwhelming or like something that is just there to try you.

 The other 364. Day 149.

 Do you need to increase or lower your expectations today? It is possible to remain aspirational but also realistic with what you want to achieve today.

 The other 364. Day 148.

 Everything you do has an impact on everything you feel.

 I’ve “found” yoga. By that I mean that yoga has got under my skin. It is intricately woven into everything I do. I’m more mindful, I’m more susceptible to people’s energies, I operate in a different way. It’s hard to really describe but it’s definitely there, in my thinking, my doing, my moving and my stillness. I’m more open, more honest, more inquisitive.

 With this though I’m also more absorbent to other people’s words and actions. What used to roll off me like water on a ducks back now really impacts me. Kindness and love are absorbed and reflected back but harshness, unkindness, bad energy hits harder and gets absorbed more deeply. I find that feeling in my gut - that dull “empty” feeling really hits hard.

 I’m trying to work out my response - I can’t act emotionally because what I’m feeling is how I’m affected to others actions, it’s not on them - but I do think unfair behaviour, unnecessary unkindness needs calling out. I’m less tolerant of behaviours that are considered “normal”. Power play, borderline bullying behaviour, passive aggressive words all are not ok, and if it’s not called out it will continue.

 I’m trying to be honest and unemotional with how I operate - be the best I can with the best I’ve got. It won’t be up to others standards but ideally the honesty will be appreciated. But it’s hard when that’s not reciprocated. And that’s the response I need to work on more.

 Something to think about.

 The other 364. Day 147.

 Do something today for no reason at all. Just do the first thing that comes to mind. Don’t procrastinate.

See how it feels.

 The other 364. Day 146.

 Tell at least one person exactly how much they mean to you. Explain how and why they make you feel alive. Let them know how grateful you are for them. And ask them to pay it forward and let someone else know.

 Spread a little love and gratitude.

The other 364. Day 145.

 Eight thoughts to start the eighth month:

How do you feel when you wake up?

How do you feel when you get ready to sleep?

Are you standing up and moving enough each day?

Are you asking enough questions?

Are you missing anyone, do you need to check in with them more?

Are you still learning each day at work?

Is there anything on your mind that won’t leave you? Can you work out a way to scratch that itch?

What can you do that you’ve never done before?

 The other 364. Day 144.

 Check in.

It’s the last day of another month tomorrow. Check in today with yourself - are you on track, how do you feel about the month just past and the month ahead? You still have 24hrs to shift your path or solidify it.

 The other 364. Day 143.

 I read a quote yesterday that said “become who you believe yourself to be”. I don’t know if that sits well with me, so I’m turning it around to say “you will become who you believe yourself to be” - if you keep saying you can’t, you won’t. If you say you shall, you will.

Mindset is everything. You do believe your thoughts. So make them matter.

 The other 364. Day 142.

 Thoughts for the commute.

If you take away the wages, the perks, the ego that comes with your position and just looked at the pure essence of what your job is would you still do it?

If the answer is yes you’re in the right place. If the answer is yes you’re doing a job you love. If the answer is yes keep going, keep reaching, keep learning keep striving.

If the answer is no think about what changes need to be made to make it a yes, and act on them.

 The other 364. Day 141.

 Listen to what’s really been calling you.

Where do you need to visit, what do you need to plan, who do you need to connect with. There’ll be constant signs for whatever it is. Just go for it.

 The other 364. Day 140.

 Share.

Share something new about yourself today. The reaction will be great.

Share a meal. It’ll bring you and them together a little deeper.

Share a problem. It’ll get solved quicker.

Share a smile with a stranger. You’ll make their day.

Share your story. You’re always going to inspire someone.

 The other 364. Day 139.

 Support.

Support yourself getting up by placing a hand down first.

Support your friends - be the one that checks in, that knocks on the door.

Support your family however they need it

Ask for support yourself. Don’t ask don’t get.

Support your local businesses.

Support organisations that resonate with your personal values.

Support your dreams by making them real.

 The other 364. Day 138.

 Goals without plans are wishes.

Wishes need luck to materialise.

You can’t rely on luck.

Goals just need a little bit of focus and you’ll achieve them.

You can rely on you to focus.

 The other 364. Day 137.

 Can you make something uncomfortable your normal today?

 Can you talk to a stranger - you might make a new friend.

 Can you jump off the commute a little earlier? You may discover somewhere new.

 Can you tackle the hardest/least appealing thing first? You might achieve so much more with your working day.

 Can you use the phone rather than email? You may get even more than just the answer you were looking for.

 The other 364. Day 136.

 You can’t be beneficial to the world if you’re not being beneficial to yourself.

 The other 364. Day 135.

 What will you do today - sit and watch the world go by or stand and join in?

 The other 364. Day 134.

 It doesn’t matter if you don’t have all the answers. Just ask as many questions as you need to.

 The other 364. Day 133.

 It’s what you do when no one is looking that matters the most.

We’re all guilty of sharing our best life on social, turning on the charm and smiles in public, but what do you actually do when the spotlight is dimmed?

 The other 364. Day 132.

 What happens today is not important, it’s how you react that matters.

 The other 364. Day 131.

 Honour how you feel.

 Today I feel lost. I’m usually so focused at turning feelings like this around or pushing through but today I’m holding my hand up and admitting I feel like I’ve lost myself a little. Physically, mentally, emotionally.

 No cry for help here, just honesty. Some days you just need to focus on that, being true to how you feel and just get through the day acknowledging whatever comes up and operating however you need to to just make the minutes pass.

 This post came to me as I lay awake in the small hours of this morning. So many questions were circling my mind. They don’t need to be shared here, but the feeling of chatter does. If this comes up for you see what chatter shouts the loudest and perhaps work on how to quieten that. That’s my one focus for today. To work out how to quiet the loudest of the internal voices and answer their burning question.

 The other 364. Day 130.

 Go slower.

Stand still when you’re brushing your teeth, don’t put the washing on with one hand at the same time.

Have the coffee sat in the cafe, don’t drink it on the go.

Get your lunch and sit at the counter, savour every bite. Don’t ignore it and pay more attention to the inbox.

Really listen during the phone call, don’t check your emails whilst on the line.

Feel every step as you walk.

Chew.

Read each word on the page, don’t skim.

Go slower.

 The other 364. Day 129.

 See the good in everything today.

Mindset is everything. Not everything will be good, but by trying to see the good you’ll drastically change your mindset which will in effect change how you operate inside and out.

 The other 364. Day 128.

Be grateful for what your body can do, don’t berate it for what it doesn’t look like.

This is a hard one for many, myself included, but each time you have a negative thought about your body flip it and say thanks for something it’s done.

The body you’re living in has seen you through all of your best days and worst, all of the cuts and bruises and scars have healed. It’s enabled you be at every moment you can remember. Cut it some slack and celebrate it today.

The other 364. Day 127.

Spend some time working out what your triggers are so that you can be prepared for them.

Triggers can make you feel like you’re spiralling, they can take you by surprise. By identifying them and the behaviours that surround them you may well be able to acknowledge and move on rather than give in to them.

 I’m an emotional eater for example. I know that if I get news that makes me feel a heightened level of stress I’m going to reach for sugar. I’m currently working on a response that isn’t that - but knowing the trigger and the behaviour is the first step to a clearer mind at times of turmoil.

 The other 364. Day 126.

 Find your reset button today.

Smile.

Eat well.

Move in a way that serves you.

Nap.

Call someone that makes you feel loved.

Laugh.

Write something down.

Read something.

Do anything that makes you feel renewed.

 The other 364. Day 125.

 People from your past only know the past version of you.

 Think how much you’ve grown in a year, or longer. Think how much you can even evolve in a month or two. With that in mind relationships will potentially shift if some time passes with each interaction. Be kind to that. Know that relationships may evolve with you or they may not be able to accept a different version of you. Either is totally fine.

 The other 364. Day 124.

 Use your power to empower today.

 The other 364. Day 123.

 No one has the right to assume anything.

Ask all the questions you need to instead.

  The other 364. Day 122.

 Each step makes you realise you’re in the present, and that is the only place you’re alive. The past is great to reflect on and the future is great to plan for but you can’t actually live in either of those moments. You can only live and breathe in the present.

 Try to remember each step you make today - actual and metaphorical. Be present. Be mindful of where you are and how you feel right there and then.

 The other 364. Day 121.

 Work out what success looks like to you.

 Until you know what success is to you you won’t be able to acknowledge it.

What does a successful day look like?

What does a successful week look like?

What would make you look back at the end of the month and view it as successful?

 Success can be as simple as acceptance or awareness or as complex or as multilayered as achieving a goal or reaching a milestone.

 The other 364. Day 120.

 Don’t accept criticism from someone you wouldn’t go to for advice.

 The other 364. Day 119.

 Some days you ride the wave; other days you let the wave engulf you. You’ll always come out the other end, just work out the process that best serves you today.

 The other 364. Day 118.

 Be aware of your projected feelings towards a person or a situation.

 Are you recognising something you’re lacking when faced with a challenging moment or person? Ask yourself if it is indeed challenge or is it another emotion (envy, tiredness, over excited?) you’re experiencing.

 Sometimes it is challenging, but other times you might be burying something deeper.

 The other 364. Day 117.

 Spend some time to talk to people today.

Genuinely connect.

Ask about something that’s always interested you in them, or ask them to share something you don’t know.

Don’t just default into the usual conversations with those around you daily.

 The other 364. Day 116.

 Use your imagination today.

Be limitless.

Think without boundaries.

 The other 364. Day 115.

 Let go of one thing today.

 I’m sure there’s at least one thing you’re carrying through from yesterday that didn’t go as planned. You couldn’t control what happened, it didn’t go as intended and it’s stuck with you as you wake up today.

 I invite you to just let it go. Do what you can to wrap that up and just leave it where it is right now.

 The other 364. Day 114.

 New beginnings.

 It’s the first of the month, falling on the first day of the week, marking the start of the second half of the year.

 Be proud of whatever and wherever 2019 has brought you thus far. Make the second half count now and do whatever it is that you wanted to do this year. You have six more months to make the heat count however you wish.

 For me I’m continuing with challenge, that I’m interpreting as adventure. I want to be adventurous and do more of what scares me, that I’ve wimped out of, that I’ve not ever experienced before. There’s big things and smaller things to be achieved, and I am excited and intrigued in equal measure to give them all a go.

 The other 364. Day 113.

 The second half of the year.

 Tomorrow is the start of the second half of the year. Check in on the intentions you set at the beginning.

 If you’ve completed some goals can you expand them to make them even more meaningful to you?

If you’ve not actioned one can you do something today to make a start?

Do you need to amend any of them to make them more attainable?

Is there anything new to add?

 The year is yours - make of it what you will.

 The other 364. Day 112.

 Don’t stop at the first hurdle.

 You are absolutely much stronger than you think. You just have to learn to push yourself when the going gets tough and appreciate that small steps will get you to where you need to be.

 Yesterday I ran up a mountain. A race that climbs 1000m. The first 100m are the hardest - they are steep and on concrete and they kill your spirit. It’s easy to think you’ll just turn around and end it there. It’s not until you get to 400m that you appreciate you might be able to get to the top if you just keep focused on climbing 100m at a time. It gets steeper as you get higher. Not easy but your making quicker progress that’s for sure. At 800m you’re no longer running but climbing, up up up testing your physical strength and your mental resilience - you’re on the side of a cliff at this point. And then 900m comes. It feels like the end but it’s not and you just have to push for one last burst. And then you reach the top and the views are everything - I was eye to eye with Mont Blanc. The beauty and the calm and the pride was worth it.

 That run was a metaphor for everything I feel at the moment, and a metaphor for anything that starts off mega difficult. Apply yourself step by step and you’ll reach the top eventually.

 The other 364. Day 111.

 Stop expecting “you” from others

 This was a quote I found scrolling. It’s a powerful one. I struggle with this concept often but as soon as you realise that others won’t have your work ethic, hold your values, keep to your time, your loyalty, your anything you’ll find a little more peace.

 You have to do you, and you have to let others do them. They may combine or they may collide, but as long as it’s not hurting anyone or causing harm you just have to let it be. As soon as you stop expecting your standards from others you’ll find a little more peace.

 The other 364. Day 110.

 Eliminate the word “should”.

 “Should” is surrounded by judgement and expectation. “Should” can bring up feelings of guilt, and if failure. Replace it with “would”.

 The other 364. Day 109.

 Think about what you think is beautiful.

It might be a person, a place, a phrase. It could be a moment in time, a piece of music, a painting. It can be anything.

 Remember this beauty whenever you feel challenged by what’s going on. The world can’t be such an awful place if something like that exists.

  The other 364. Day 108.

Forgive yourself.

Some days you’ll find it hard.

Some days you’ll just need to be quiet.

Some days you’ll say things you don’t mean.

Some days you’ll just need to do whatever it is you need to do to make it through the day.

All of the above is ok.

The other 364. Day 107.

Recalibrate. 

Reevaluate.

Reset. 

 These three words are my mantra today. After a testing weekend of mixed emotions   I need to carry on moving forward keeping small, manageable goals in mind that keep me focused. If I get distracted these three words will bring me back. 

The other 364. Day 106. 

Thoughts about blockages. 

Yesterday taught me so much. There are so many positive things to take away from the day. 

 Yet I ended my day frustrated. In that moment I was frustrated because I couldn’t shake a feeling that I try so hard to silence. It’s a feeling that has haunted me for longer than I care to remember - and it’s a feeling centred around how I look. 

I’ve mentioned before that I have struggled with my reflection, and yesterday those feelings were present more than ever. There was a moment we were asked to affirm who we are and I just couldn’t repeat the words out loud, I felt like a fraud. 

Reflections are subjective for sure but when you see photos of yourself that make you shudder you have to realise there’s a deep rooted issue you need to unblock before you can move forward. And that’s how I closed my day. Upset with how my external self looks. And upset that I let that upset me. 

I’ve accepted some things about my reflection - there are things I will never be in my physical body. There are however things that I long to be and could be if I just worked hard enough. 

So I’m starting my day applying the same thought process that I give to everything else. If I can make a change to improve how I view the reflection I have to ask how much I REALLY want it. Because unless I REALLY want it I won’t unblock the blockage, I won’t stick with the action plan to make a permanent change. 

Sure, my blockage could be perceived as superficial but it’s valid for me right now. The same concept of addressing and unblocking can be applied to anything that has you feeling this way. 

Thoughts today might not ring true for many, and they are not in line with what I’ve previously shared, however holding my values close to my heart I have always vowed to be authentically me, honest to my core. So that’s why I’m sharing these thoughts today. 

The other 364. Day 105.

I was running home listening to a podcast and a conversation started. It was along the lines of the concept of asking why you would start something you knew would make you feel worse than how you feel now. It was in relation to starting an ashtanga yoga practise. 

This might make no sense but I totally got it. Running hurts. The further I run it hurts. The next day it hurts. Then it gets better. Strength training hurts. Then I run again and push to go a little faster and it hurts. And it doesn’t just physically hurt in my muscles, my brain hurts too. My brain hurts thinking about routes and pace and timing and scheduling training and eating and sleeping. 

I did not hurt like this when I was an overweight party girl. 

Yet I do it. And it might seem crazy. But there are days when I don’t want to hurt. There are days when I want to feel “normal”. There is no normal. How I feel each day is how I feel. What I feel on “those” days is my equivalent of a toddlers tantrum. Hurting in this way is fine because I heal. And I gain strength. And for every one day I have a strop there’s more an enough day’s that make me smile. 

The moral of this story is don’t be put off just because you feel uncomfortable - start to accept that there’s comfort in discomfort instead. 

The other 364. Day 104. 

Listen. 

But really listen. 

Listen to what’s not being said. 

Listen to how it’s being said. 

Listen to when they pause. 

Listen to their inhale and exhale after they’ve stopped talking. 

Listen with your eyes - what’s their body language telling you. 

 The other 364. Day 103. 

 You already know the answer. You just have to ask yourself a few juicy questions to unearth it. 

 The other 364. Day 102.

When you’re at a cross roads think about how to honor your legacy when deciding the next step. 

Everything you do pays a little more into the bank that is your ever-lasting memory so if you’re stuck, or if you’re presented with multiple options and your gut instinct isn’t present have a think about how each option colours in your legacy poster. 

The other 364. Day 101.

Look up today 

Look up if you’re walking 

Look up something you’ve been intrigued about 

Look up the person you’ve been thinking about contacting for a while 

Recognise that moment where things are beginning to look up for you too. 

The other 364. Day 100.

 100 days ago you had no idea who you’d be today or how you would get here, but here you are. 

The experience of writing something goal focused every day has taught me to look inwards each day - beginning and end. I don’t pre plan these posts - they come to me as I post them. I’ve learned to find something more positive with each thought - there’s no use goal setting starting with a negative. I’ve also learned to find inspiration in so many more places than I’d usually look. 

I wondered about this process each day. I wondered how different I’d be, if at all. It feels like such a long period of time on one hand, but in reality it’s a short amount of time too. Reflecting, over 100 days I may not look much different externally but I definitely have changed internally. I hope for the better (it feels better). I can’t quite put my finger on everything but I certainly feel like I’ve consciously noticed my development. The lessons learned for me are to keep focusing on the present, to not put a time limit on learning and to prioritise measuring progress internally over externally. 

I’m also proud to have committed to something for 100 days. I wonder what else I could apply to this to. Watch this space. 

 The other 364. Day 99.

A little growth is still growth. 

Be as proud of the small steps as well as the big ones. 

Notice tiny progress as progress without judgement. Don’t follow with a “but”. 

The other 364. Day 98.

Don’t forget to do something “analogue”

The phone doesn’t need to be in charge all day - read a book, walk without the pods in, write with a pen on paper, eat without distractions, take a bath without turning on Netflix. 

The other 364. Day 97.

 Be the change. 

If you can’t see it, be it. 

There’s no good in complaining that it doesn’t exist - if it doesn’t exist lead the charge and show the way. 

You’ll be surprised how often things like “but there’s no one to lead the way” or “if only we had someone like this to...” or “it just takes someone else to start...” are said, especially in a professional environment. It takes nothing but a deep breath and courage in your conviction to be what you need to see. 

The other 364. Day 96.

 Affirm. 

Give out affirmations 

Give yourself affirmations 

Practise being comfortable receiving affirmations 

The other 364. Day 95.

You don’t have to do this alone. 

You can ask for help. 

You can lean on your connections.

You can say yes if someone asks “is there anything I can do to support you” 

You’ll still reach the end goal your way, but it’s neither less or more important, empowering or fruitful doing it alone or with company. Just work out the journey that serves you the best each step of the way. 

The other 364. Day 94.

 Hitting pause is also part of the master plan. 

 It’s ok to stop when your body tells you to. 

It’s ok to take yourself home if that’s what you need. 

It’s ok to eat the packet of biscuits. 

It’s ok to sleep when you need to, even if that’s for three hours in the middle of the day. 

It’s ok to turn off your phone for a while. 

It’s ok to wear sweats and a hoody and just feel comfortable. 

It’s ok not to talk. 

It’s ok not to do anything at all if that’s what feels right for today. 

This was all my truth and more yesterday. I was mentally and physically spent, and knew I needed a day to be intuitive to what I needed in order to wake up today and reset. I’ve had some pretty vivid dreams throughout the many many hours of sleep that I need to digest, but otherwise the “day off” did me good. Today is a new day and I regret nothing about yesterday. 

 The other 364. Day 93.

Change direction as many times as you like. 

The only person who has set the path is you. Give yourself the permission to react to the present and switch the path you want to take, perhaps. 

This isn’t about taking the easy route when things get tough but accepting that things beyond your control can hinder your progress if you don’t learn to adapt. 

I’ll give you a simple example. I should have run 10km today according to my plan. If I ran in this lashing rain I’d either get sick or hurt myself - so instead a gym session happened. Tomorrows day has to be adapted to fit this run in and that’s totally fine. 

The other 364. Day 92.

You’ll figure it out. Eventually. 

Stop rushing.

Stop comparing where you are to where others are.

Just keep moving in the direction you want to be moving in and learn along the way. Absorb all you can. 

The other 364. Day 91.

 Words of wisdom from Robin Arzon today: 

When you work for it more than you wish for it your life will change. 

Robin is a trailblazer. A woman so focused and dedicated. Nothing is ever out of reach for her, and if you’re in her space she’ll make you realise it’s all within reach for you too. 

 The other 364. Day 90.

 Remember to do something for you. 

 I got to the end of yesterday feeling drained. I’d given way too much, spread myself way too thinly and I’d lost any sense of self. Sounds dramatic but if you keep giving energy out you’ll run out quite quickly. 

 Be conscious of this and make sure you do something that is beneficial to you, that tops up some of that energy you’ve been sharing. 

 The other 364. Day 89.

 At some point  you have to stop doing all you can to figure it out and start ACTING it out. 

 Research is great, procrastination can often help, but most things won’t happen unless you DO IT. You’re not gonna get it right first time, you’re gonna have to be comfortable with being uncomfortable, but within all of that you’ll have started and you’ll really begin to learn about what it is that you’ve been dreaming of doing for however long. 

 The other 364. Day 88.

 Don’t be scared of rejection.

 Rejection makes to more focused. It allows you to look at where you can improve. It encourages reflection and forces you to look wider than originally executed. 

 I was arrogant enough to pitch something I thought was a no-brainer yesterday, and I stumbled at the first hurdle. I wasn’t upset. Whilst I really wanted a “yes”, by getting a “no” I had to accept that I have much more work to put in. 

 The other 364. Day 87.

You are the only expert on yourself. 

Only you know how to react to your gut instinct. Only you know what environments suit you best. Only you know when you need to fight or flight. Only you know what feeds your soul and what starves it. Only you know. 

The other 364. Day 86.

 Whatever it is you really want to avoid today, don’t. 

Address it first, get it over with. 

 The other 364. Day 85.

“You can’t go back to the beginning but you can start where you are and change the ending.”

This CS Lewis quote resonated yesterday. We’re in the 6th month of the year - nearly half way through - and I’ve really tried hard to set small goals each month and reflect and reset as the weeks pass. I gave up on this mindset for May because April was way too challenging at work to allow any additional focus - I needed a break. But it’s now June, it feels like a new season and therefore I needed to pull up my focus socks and get back to it. 

The blank page in my journal didn’t stay that way for long - I’ve got some BIG goals set for this month and I’m going to do my utmost to achieve them. Everything I’ve set is within my control so all I need is focus. 

I’m not ready to divulge the big goals, however to help myself along June will be a month of: 

Morning meditation - it needs to be the FIRST thing I do. Alarm, meditate, shower, and so on. 

I need to schedule my time so the goals get a decent look in during the week. I want to strictly give at least an hour a day in the working week to the relevant goals (ie the ones that need planning and pitching)

I need to have regular me time - that’s an hour a day where I move. That’s either running or strength training or yoga. This hour a day needs to be non-negotiable. 

I also need to go into what is a busy (but “bitty”) month with a positive mindset - like I opened this post with - more focus on what’s happening now and in the future rather than what happened in the past. 

Onwards. 

The other 364. Day 84.

Who you were yesterday is in the past. 

It’s who you are today that matters.

Maybe today you are the person who smiles at strangers, who makes eye contact too. 

Maybe you’re the person that sticks to their promises rather than just makes them. You’re the person who is one of their word. 

Maybe you’re the person who isn’t afraid to say no, isn’t afraid to ask for help and knows what’s going to serve them right for today. 

The other 364. Day 83.

 Try not to force things. 

Be present and accept things as they are. 

They will naturally move the way they were intended to. 

The other 364. Day 82.

 Be your own role model. 

Be the person you look up to. 

Be the person you’re proud of. 

Be the person you cheerlead 

Be the person who inspires. 

The other 364. Day 81.

 Gratitude is powerful, so I’m told. So I’m putting it to the best. 

 Not every day is perfect. You can’t control every element of every day and therefore challenges will arise. But there will be little wins to cheer for. 

 I’ve been on jury service for 10 days now and it’s been a huge challenge for me. My energy has been zapped, I’ve been anxious about getting my day job done at the same time. I’ve also not been able to cut off from what’s been said and done in that space, nor am I too comfortable with what jury service asks of you. So I’m the first to put my hand up and say I’ve had a challenging 10 days. Some better than others but my mood has been low. 

 So, with the power of gratitude in mind I’m attempting to shift this by recognising the good in my day. I will still achieve things each day, and there will always be something to celebrate. They’ll mostly be small things, but significant nonetheless. And I’m planning on writing them down. I’m aiming for three things each day I can be proud of, and I’m aiming to address these three things at around 7pm. I want to end the “working day” with a sense of achievement. I want to sit down to my evening meal feeling like I’ve accomplished something. I don’t want to bring the negative into the end of my day, and I don’t want to wait until bed time to turn my mindset around. 

 It starts today. Three things I’m grateful for for the day, addressed at 7pm each day. Doing this until Monday, maybe I’ll make it a habit. 

The other 364. Day 80.

 You’re only as strong as your weakest player so nurture them. Encourage them. Let them know how pivotal they are to you.  Build them up. 

 I also believe you’re as strong as your weakest thought and action. So apply the same concept to how you’re treating yourself. Do what you need to do to build yourself up and support yourself to strengthen your day to day. And remember to ask for help if you need it.  

 The other 364. Day 79.

 What can you do today to make sure you hit the working week feeling ready to go? 

 I’ve just planned & hung out my outfits for tues-Friday. I’ve scheduled in my workouts too, and have that kit on the relevant hangers as well. No excuses for procrastinating about  what to where and where it is. 

The other 364. Day 78.

The number on a clothes label dictates NOTHING. 

I’m guilty of thoughts like these - imagining life gets infinitely and magically better as soon as I hit a number. It might be a number on the scales, it might be a number in a clothing label. Once upon a time I hit those “magic” number targets. Life didn’t change. Miracles didn’t happen. Yes it felt great to fit into clothes I’d kept for “some day” and yes some times I liked what reflected back in the mirror. But I’ve also learned that you feel just as good in clothes that fit you at the time. So buy clothes that fit. 

Only you know the number on the label. Lose the ego and buy something that you are comfortable in so that you can wear it with confidence. If the label bothers you cut it out. Never to be seen again. You’ll be wasting your cash, and the chances of debuting a killer look, by purchasing it in the wrong size for you, right now. I promise you you’ll carry yourself with confidence by staying true to you and wearing what looks and feels great to you. 

The number is nothing but a number, don’t let it dictate your happiness. 

(I can’t get started on how inconsistent clothing sizes are from store to store, and even item to item...) 

The other 364. Day 77.

Acknowledge how you feel on a rest day. 

When It comes to a weekend you can either feel excited for the free time or ready for a rest. Don’t over do it. Recognise what you need from the day and set out to reach those needs, realistically. 

I’m closing today having done a little too much and a little too little at the same time. A race in the sun, a rest from the strict diet, not enough sleep and long car journeys have wiped me out (adding on top feeling relieved of a very stressful emotional state this week and a little dental pain). I felt the need to push hard today for no reason. Push I did, but I didn’t need to. Luckily there’s tomorrow to reset. And reset I will. 

The other 364. Day 76.

You are in control of so much more than you’ll give yourself credit for. For example you control: 

How you react  

How you talk to yourself 

How deeply you listen 

How you breathe 

What you eat and drink 

The company you keep

What you take away from the moment

When and how you move 

Saying yes 

Saying no 

If things feel out of your hands at any point do something small to retain your authority on yourself at that moment. 

The other 364. Day 75. 

 Thoughts for the day: 

 Is there anything you can continue doing from yesterday that will move you forward today? Is there anything you can leave behind too? 

What’s your default around people? If it’s to fill silences can you practise being quiet for an extended time, if it’s to be quiet can you talk to people, start conversations, speak to someone you wouldn’t normally speak to. 

Stretch the comfort zone today to see if you can end the working week feeling a little more focused. 

The other 364. Day 74.

Say thank you to your family. 

I had a deafening realisation this week that everything my parents have done, and continue to do for me, is to protect me. They love me so dearly that they just want me to be safe. That means that even at 35 years old my father wants to know I’ve got on the bus, off the bus and through my front door safe. He will never lose that - to him I’m his little girl and he needs to protect her. That’s him succeeding as a father. 

So when you think of all of the things that annoy you about your parents or your parent figures that might wind you up - the calls they request you make, the texts they send when you just want to get on with things - have a think about what that means to them, and thank them. If you’re lucky enough to have parents like mine they definitely should know how grateful you are for them. 

Forgive them all the times they followed you to the corner shop and you got annoyed because it wasn’t cool. Allow them to have picked you up from the bar/club/pub when you just wanted to get home your own way. Let them off for picking you up at the school gates when you were in the sixth form. They just wanted to know you were in safe hands. And to them the safest hands you could be in was, and is, theirs. 

I know not everyone has memories such as these. Maybe you can’t relate. I’m sorry if this triggers something difficult. But if you were fortunate to get annoyed with your parents for things such as those I’ve mentioned and if you’re lucky enough to be able to talk to them now please do it. It’s never too late to let those who raise you know it’s appreciated. 

The other 364. Day 73.

 You are the solution to so many of the problems you think can’t be solved. Take a second before panicking. Ask yourself what you’d tell a friend if they came to you with this predicament. You can solve anything, you just need to pause for a second and truly ask yourself how. 

 The other 364. Day 72.

If you do one thing different today I ask that it’s smile when you make eye contact. More often than not you’ll be met with a smile right back, and it feels awesome. 

Doing this one act makes you realise what your default is when eyes meet - more often than not it’s look away immediately. It might be to look awkwardly, it could even be to frown. Shifting this to a smile will instantly change the energy within you, and therefore the energy you put out. 

The other 364. Day 71.

 Dance like no one is looking. Even if they are. Just close your eyes. Even if just for a second. Shake it out like Taylor told you too. You’ll smile. 

 The other 364. Day 70.

Who you have not what you have is most important. Spend time cultivating human contact with those that lift you up, those that support you, those that inspire you rather than chasing a status symbol. 

The other 364. Day 69.

It’s not a badge of honor to be busy. It’s a badge of honor to achieve what you set out, to be a person of your word, to stand true to your values. 

The other 364. Day 68.

 Be a voice rather than an echo. Say what you mean others to hear, not what you think others want to hear. 

 The other 364. Day 67.

We don’t have an excuse to fail - there endless opportunities at our finger tips. If something isn’t working, adapt. There are people less fortunate than us, people with less resources too, making it work, so there’s absolutely no reason why we can’t also. 

The other 364. Day 66.

If you don’t try / practise you definitely won’t master it. The same applies to fears. You can only face them by diving right in. 

The other 364. Day 65.

Notice how you’re breathing 

Take 30 seconds to notice how you’re breathing - it’s depth and frequency is a reflection of how we truly are in that moment. 

Take another 30 seconds to control your breathing. Deep breaths in for a count of four, deep breaths out for at least a count of four. Notice how you feel after that. 

 The other 364. Day 64.

 You can’t be what you can’t see. 

 Talk up your experiences and achievements as much as possible. Share ideas, take risks and talk about it because you never know who is listening and who you might inspire. Everything you do sets an example and raises the bar for someone else to meet and hopefully exceed, as long as you talk about it. 

 The other 364. Day 63.

 Spend time to expand your experiences rather than your following. 

 Your tribe will find you. A real life connection will be more valuable to you than a follower number. Take the time to be present in what you experience, form relationships in real life. Do it for the memories not for the gram. 

The other 364. Day 62.

Yesterday I wrote about my own intention setting and how I didn’t achieve anything I’d set myself for the month of April. 

 I tried not to let it get to me, but it did. That was inevitable. My post prompted a friend to remind me that although I hadn’t been able to tick those boxes I had in fact achieved so much recently. 

 This month I executed an event that was designed to inspire women working in, or aiming to work in, the entertainment industry. It was an idea I came up with from scratch and had put it all together more or less on my own. And people showed up. And the feedback was great. 

 I’d also led my team through a challenging month at work - no hiccups, no casualties. 

 I also managed much much more. But I didn’t think they counted when I was in that headspace. I thought that all of the above was something I could do by default, so didn’t count them as a win. They were all indeed wins. 

 The moral of this story is if you’re going to reflect, don’t just focus on the things you didn’t get to achieve, and don’t dismiss all you achieve that wasn’t part of whatever master plan you had set yourself. Paths change, things come up, notice the wins whenever and however they come up. They count. Celebrate them

 The Other 364. Day 61 

Listen to understand rather than to respond. 

The Other 364. Day 60 

“Saying No is a decision, saying yes is a responsibility”

The other 364. Day 59. 

Don’t expect perfection. 

Perfection doesn’t really exist. Go into something expecting to be proud instead. Proud for starting, proud of your progress, proud of what you learn on the way. Be proud of reevaluating if you need to, be proud of the journey. Be proud of being open to things changing and evolving along the way. 

The other 364. Day 58. 

Don’t apologise for being happy. 

I feel like we live in a culture where it’s only ok if you’re struggling. Whilst it’s ok to be struggling, it’s not everyone’s default. 

Be proud if you’re happy. Own it. Don’t make excuses for it, don’t follow it with a “but”. 

The other 364. Day 57.

Ask for help. 

There’s no shame in asking for help. 

There’s also no shame in offering you help if you can see someone needs it. 

The other 364. Day 56.

Have adventures. 

Routines are great. They give you a sense of achievement. Adventures can make you feel a little more alive. Give it a try  

The other 364. Day 55.

Remember your why.

Remember why you started.

Remember why it matters so much.

Remember why you care.

Remember why you don’t care.

Remember why it’s worth the effort.

Remember why it’s not.

Remember why it makes you smile.

The other 364. Day 54.

Write down every positive moment today. 

I’ve been anxious about getting to this week - today and tomorrow are big days professionally. So I’ve been apprehensive. I’ve put a lot of pressure on myself to get to this point almost perfectly. 

I woke up this morning good and early to get out for a run to start my day in a way that makes me feel good. I popped on a podcast recommended to me yesterday. It was about how a positive mindset can change your life. 

The most poignant thing I took from it was a task - to write down every positive moment for the day for 21 days. I’m going to try this today, and maybe for a week. It’ll prove things are not as bad as I think. It’ll prove that the one thing weighing me down isn’t the be all and end all. 

As I write this I’ve been awake for two hours. Already I’ve noted this: 

·       I woke up not feeling tired 

·       I ran with strength 

·       The runners I passed returned my “good morning”

·       When I picked up breakfast I made someone smile when I wished them a good day 

·       I got to wish my west coast best friend a happy birthday before he got to sleep (it’ll be his birthday when we wakes later today)

The other 364. Day 53.

Stop comparing journeys.  

Comparing your own journey to someone else’s is like making an apple taste like an orange. 

I’m guilty of looking inwards when people around me succeed - asking a number of questions such as why didn’t I get that job/ run that race/get that time/ do that thing/make that trip... you get the idea. Why I didn’t achieve what they achieved is because the journey wasn’t mine to take. No two people are the same, so why should I feel inadequate or envious of someone else. I have absolutely no idea what they put in to whatever it was they achieved. They got there on their own steam. If I want what they have I have to work for it in my own way and get there on my own terms. 

There’s another side to this. Make sure you celebrate your achievements on a scale that matters to you. Your big win may not seem big in the company of others but that doesn’t matter - your mile is someone else’s marathon and your marathon is someone else’s mile. It doesn’t matter what means the most to either - if it’s your big win be proud of it, own it, say it out loud as you never know if you’re inspiring someone else to move forward in their own unique way. 

 The other 364. Day 53.

Listen to your gut. 

This isn’t about intuition. I just don’t feel “right” at the moment. I’m not sick but I’m tired. I’m not poorly but I’ve got low energy. I don’t feel like myself. 

For about a month I’ve been stressed. I’ve had major emotional ups and downs over this time- the highs are sky high, the lows have been crushing. As a result I’ve not slept well, not eaten well (it’s either been barely eating or eating everything in sight). 

You can only last so long like this - and I think my body is finally saying the grace period is over. It’s saying I need to reset. My eyes don’t sparkle, my skin is dull, I’m bloated and heavy. This isn’t who I am so I need to change. 

I won’t feel great overnight - if I’ve had a month of turmoil internally it’ll take around two weeks to get back to my usual safe. It’s not easy, I’ll sometimes feel worse. But I need to do it.

With this I invite you to listen to how you feel. You’ll instinctively know if you’re feeling your best or not. And question why that is - if it’s working, why. If something is unbalanced take an internal audit and see if there’s something you can tweak before your body fights back.  

The other 364. Day 52.

If you’re stuck for inspiration change your scenery. 

I’ve been bothered about not having anything to say today - I usually wake up full of ideas. My brain is stuck. 

I’ve waited a while hoping that something will come to me. It hasn’t. So I’m switching up the environment in the hope that something new will spark another point of view. 

It’s not until I decided to do this that I thought this is helpful enough for today. Let’s see if it helps. 

The other 364. Day 51.

Your marathon.

Whatever your “marathon” (read: end goal) is remember it’s a marathon and not a sprint.

The marathon ethos applies to whatever big end goal you have in sight. You have to dedicate time, lots of time to getting to right before you toe the start line, let alone the finish line.

You have to pace yourself. Go out too quickly at the start of the journey and you won’t finish. You’ll be exhausted, you’ll get hurt, your head won’t be able to cope with the pressure you’re putting it under.

As you prepare you have to be ok with bumps in the road, tiny curveballs that set you back a little perhaps – and it’s the end in sight you need to keep in mind when that going gets tough. Along the way you’ll need support and you have to ask for it – no one will hand it to you.

A marathon journey changes who you are. It shows dedication, it shows tenacity, it shows strength. Reaching your end goal should feel that way for you. – knowing you’ve prepped and put your everything into it. And remember – every persons race is their own. Don’t compare time. Others will reach their goals before you, but “medal”- whatever that looks like – will weigh the same around your neck when you get there.

 The other 364. Day 50.

Be a beginner.

Allow yourself to be a beginner – no one started being excellent. You were born not being able to walk and now you can run. What happened in the middle was practise. What happened in the middle was not letting the ego get in the way of trying.

Whatever it is that you want to do or want to be remember you have to start, and it’s a journey to the finish line.

The other 364. Day 49.

Stop and think about how something feels rather than how it looks.

 The other 364. Day 48.

Small things are achievements too.

Not every day will be a “big win” day. It’s ok. Make achieving something small your “big win” instead.

Winning is winning. It doesn’t have a shape or size or colour or anything, it’s just an amazing feeling of achievement.

The other 364. Day 47.

Who you are today doesn’t have to be who you are tomorrow.

It’s a huge privilege to wake up each morning. Even more of one to be able to get out of bed and go about your day. Don’t waste that privilege. Be proud of who you are when you wake up, be prouder of the person you go to sleep as.

The other 364. Day 46.

Those who want to spend time with you will find the time.

This is always a tough lesson learned. I’m often the one reaching out to make plans – it’s in my nature to make arrangements, and those that know me super well know my diary is erratic. It’s no bother to me to make the first move.

It’s very rare that the first date/time will work out. If it does, awesome. If it doesn’t, it’s the reply back that I’ve found says the most. Those that want to see you will offer alternatives. Those that don’t, don’t. How hard that is to swallow depends on the relationship.

It’s the same for your work environment – I can’t always keep every business meeting – but right now I’m loathed to cancel without giving alternatives there and then or at least giving a check in date to well, check in as to when we can rearrange. I absolutely never want to give the impression that I don’t keep to commitments – sometimes things have to be pushed – but it’s important to retain a level of integrity when it comes to sticking to my word and my commitments. I’ve been burned by this too many times myself so therefore know how it feels.

With this I ask that if you’ve no intention of keeping plans don’t make them. Your “yes” might mean more to the recipient than you realise.

On the flip side don’t be upset if you get turned down – respect other people’s time, respect other people’s choices. In business and in play the relationships that are meant to stick will do so without much effort. You have to trust in that.

The other 364. Day 45.

Can’t vs won’t

I ran my 5000th kilometre today. Within those 5000 are 5 marathons, 7 half marathons and countless plods around the park. “I could never run a Marathon” is often said to me when the subject comes up. My answer has always been “anyone can do anything if they want to. It’s ok not to want to run a marathon”

I get odd looks. But it’s true. Anyone really can do almost anything. But you just have to want to. Replace “can’t” with “won’t” and you might just change your attitude to some things. Other “can’ts” will remain that way, and that’s cool, just don’t disguise a “can’t” as a “won’t” without being honest with yourself.

 The other 364. Day 44.

You do not get to choose the events that come your way but you do get to choose how you react to them and how you learn from them.

The other 364. Day 43.

What would I say to my younger self?

Stop trying to please everyone

- Not everyone will like you, and that’s ok

- What others think of you isn’t any of your business

- Talk kinder to yourself

- Move, daily – it’ll do wonders for your mental and physical health

- Never lose sense of your personal values. Being kind, loyal and honest are not signs of weakness (some people will make you think they are)

- Don’t compromise creativity, nurture that every day

- Be more present, be committed to everything you do each day

- Don’t automatically think “no”, think “what if”

- Be more adventurous. Just go for it – you discovered some amazing things in the world a little too late in my opinion, and I know it was because you were scared.

The other 364. Day 42.

Forgive yourself.

Being self aware and acting with self care goes beyond being able to recognise when you’re doing ok. And by this I mean not looking for external validation when things go well. The beyond is learning to forgive yourself when you’re at less than your best rather than beating yourself up.

 The other 364. Day 41.

“In order for good things to come your way you need to believe you deserve them”

It’s a short post today – I saw this scrolling and it’s stuck in my mind overnight. Letting it marinade over the long weekend.

The other 364. Day 40.

Do what you need to do today to get through.

Some days seem longer than others, some molehills are disguised as mountains. Some elements of your day are in your control, most aren’t.

Do what you need to do to make it through. As long as it isn’t at the expense of someone else there’s no harm in just making it through some days. Hit the snooze button, eat the chocolate, take the longer lunch, go for a run. Whatever your survival technique is remember there’s no shame of dialling it in from time to time.

The other 364. Day 39.

It’s short and simple today. Before you quit, take a break.

Things often don’t go to plan, and the easy route is to just give up. More often than not all you need is a break to look at the situation objectively. It won’t always be as bad as initially thought.

 The other 364. Day 38.

Make the effort.

I’m so guilty of saying yes to everything and then working out how to get out of it, either because of laziness or a sense of anxiety – especially when it comes to group gatherings.

I need to try this more often myself however, for experience, it’s so much more empowering to either:

Say no to the invite/offer. If you don’t want to go, don’t go. And by saying no, more often than not you won’t need to elaborate – a simple “I’m sorry I can’t make that” will suffice. You’ll not need to worry about not attending and upsetting the host.

I’ll preface this by saying before you’d default to “no” you need to evaluate why your natural instinct is to saying no. Is it because you don’t have the capacity? Is it because the setting gives you anxiety? Is it because you simply can’t be bothered? Weigh up the pros and cons before you give yourself that “hard out”.

On the flip side if you’ve said yes, commit to it. Don’t flake out. Be the person that sticks to their plans and reliably shows up. If you’re showing up show up with a smile. Make a contribution. Be present. Make your presence felt.

I set an intention for the year to do exactly this – commit to everything I’ve said yes to. It’s made me feel more fulfilled. It’s hopefully doing wonders for improving my reputation. And I feel good – either in those moments or afterwards. I’m achieving something I set out to do and that’s powerful.

Remember that it’s easy to undo the “no” – your plans “can change and if there’s space you’d still like to attend” – but if you do that just make sure you’re committed to being there.

The other 364. Day 37.

Be the first you.

When I’m stuck for inspiration I look to my role models and I try and unpick their journey. I wonder if I followed their path will it happen for me?

Social media is a blessing and a curse for this process (jeez I seem to bash social media – I don’t mean to, I promise) – there’s a lot of people out there with a path I desire. I find acres of inspiration at the scroll of a thumb and there are days where I find myself down a rabbit hole – just searching for a path to get me where I want to be.

It’s great to be inspired but I know that it’s only going to happen for me my way. If I don’t know what that way is at the moment it’s ok. I’ve just got to keep acknowledging my ideas and keep committed to the ones that make me smile. I’ve got to keep myself accountable and keep moving forwards with the things that make me feel alive. I’ve got to find my own way. It’s all well and good to be inspired by people but their path is THEIR path, not mine. I can ask for help but I need to get there myself – make my own mistakes and climb my own mountains.

I’ve got ideas and more and more details are being visualised. I now need to work out the steps to bring them to life. It’s exciting and scary and I know who to turn to when I need support – but I’ll get there eventually, in my own time and in my own style.

 The other 364. Day 35.

I took off the armour.

I have this metaphorical bulletproof vest I wear Monday-Friday. I absorb the hits, let the words and actions roll off it like a duck to water. Like an actual bulletproof vest l there’s impact but nothing breaks through.

This week I think I took it off without knowing. I found words hurt, actions more. I found myself awake worrying about things I was making up – thinking the worst about every possible scenario. I felt inadequate and I felt isolated.

I’ve got absolutely no reason to feel this way, and nothing to justify the feelings or behaviour. It just happened. I’m absolutely knackered because of it and hope that the weekend will reset.

Actually, I don’t “hope”, I know. I know because I’ve acknowledged that this week I was my own worst enemy. I caused my internal dramas and I reacted in ways I know I didn’t need to – I just didn’t have any fight this week to change tact. So for the weekend I’ll force myself to get back on track. I’ll get to bed early after meditating. I’ll get up early and I’ll meditate again, then run, then yoga. I’ll eat well. It’ll feel like a shock to the system because I’ve been mean to my system for a week, and I’ll repeat that on Sunday too and make sure I stick to the plan. If I do this for 48hrs I will be as prepared as I can be for “Monday”.

I don’t feel great writing this – I feel a little weak. I feel like I’ve let myself down. I have. But I’ve recognised it and I’ll make a conscious effort to change / revert back.

The other 364. Day 34.

Thought for Thursday:

“If you stop measuring yourself against where you want to eventually be, maybe you would notice that you’re actually doing better than you think”

 The Other 364. Day 33.

Who are you doing it for?

 This thought cropped up yesterday. It was in relation to my running. “run for yourself” kept coming up in conversation, and I couldn’t wrap my head around why anyone would think I was doing it any differently. But on some level I am. I track my runs, on two apps. I track because I want to see improvement even though I’ve always said time and distance has never been important to me. but if that’s the case, why track? I cant counter that argument. I clearly want to track to see changes in pace, to monitor my stamina and I track it publicly because I seek that validation of knowing someone else has eyes on my activity – even though in reality I really do question if anyone does give two hoots – there’s never any feedback or encouragement so if that’s why I’m tracking, I really ought to stop but it’s just not that simple is it?

I also scroll through both of those apps like I would with forms of social media. I take an interest in how others are training. I honestly do like to see them succeed with their training, however I’ve no idea what those numbers actually mean – I’ve no idea if they struggled through that run, if that pacing is something they are happy with, or if they intended to run twice as long or half as strong. I’ve just assumed that all is good. if I actually asked that person “how was that run” would I have a different opinion, would I get more of an insight?

I also find myself inspired by runs that are tracked – it gives me the motivation to keep pushing towards my goals – it’s that classic “if they can do it so can I” attitude. And if I’m thinking that I just don’t know if there’s a stranger somewhere keeping an eye on what I’m doing, and I’m motivating them. So tracking is therefore a good thing if we think this way.

I’m rolling around in circles here because whilst trivial, I think it’s important to work out your motive when digitally documenting. Apps are amazing but they are addictive. They can shroud what look like positive values and make them into something unhealthy. Tracking activity, and on a wider scale tracking moments and sharing experiences is all good as long as it’s done for the right reasons – and they are reasons that feed your soul and move others, not a number of likes.

 The other 364. Day 32.

If you don’t have anything nice to say…

I had every intention of saying something poignant at the end of today. I’d woken full of ideas but not one landed first thing. So I have myself some breathing space hoping I could have a end of day message to share.

I’ve got nothing inspiring to say. It’s been a tricky day feeling like an imposter in spaces I usually feel comfortable owning. That’s just the slightest of insights into my day. I’m leaving it there.

I’m leaving it there because some days are hard and that’s ok. Some days you don’t have the answers. Some days the usual tricks to pull you out don’t work. Some days you just need to recognise that and move on.

 The other 364. Day 31.

Reflect on your day.

Monday. It has a hard time winning people over, but it’s nearly the end of the day and I’m inviting you to take a break and reflect on how the day has treated you.

What have you done well?

What could you have done better?

What can you do now before the day ends in order to start tomorrow better?

I promise you the day ends better than you thought it would when it started.

The other 364. Day 30.

Sunday’s are my day to reset – start today as you mean to go on for the week ahead. With that I’ll share a quote that gets me thinking about how I want the week to look – “the only person you’re destined to be is the person you decide to be”

 The other 364. Day 29.

Smile.

It’s a simple one to try today. Smile at all times possible and see how it makes you feel.

 The other 364. Day 28.

Have conscious comms.

It’s a fact – We live in a digital world and most of us communicate digitally – text, email, instant message. Whilst I appreciate different reasons for messaging and therefore you need to adopt a different tone it doesn’t mean you have to lose your sense of self.

I’ve been actively trying to talk on email like I would in person to my recipient. I wouldn’t leave them and say “all the best” in person – so why end an email that way? I wouldn’t greet them with “dear x” when I first see them so why write that?

I’m trying to be more authentic in every way I communicate. Give people a sense that I care about how I personally interact with them AND get the task in hand complete. It’s tricky, but it’s worth a try.

The other 364. Day 27.

Remember to play.

I think adult life beats playtime out of you. I can’t remember the last time I did something just to have a play around. There’s always a purpose to an action to keep me moving towards something.

Let’s break it down. When I run – I have to either get the miles in the legs because of a plan or I have decided I’m running to get from point A to point B. I’ve not ever in my adult life just run around the park for the sheer hell-of-it.

When I meet friends I meet to do something – most likely eat or drink. You don’t arrange to just meet and see where it leads. And if you do I guarantee you don’t meet just to play tag in the park or goof around in some space.

I have experience of this in my circle too. My good friends Charlie and Carl encourage you to play with movement in a yoga class – the look of horror in some people because it’s not a “conventional” yoga move is quite something to witness. And then you/they are moving and actually enjoying it.

I also equate playtime with laughing. When you play you laugh. I also can’t remember the last time I laughed until there my stomach hurt. I have done more of this in adult life – I’m certain of that, but not often enough.

Play time let’s you be free. You’re doing something that you WANT to do not what you HAVE to do. The same with laughter – it’s a reflex to something that makes you happy, that brings you joy. You can’t control it.

The other 364. Day 26.

Accept the bad days.

Some days will be bad. Some days will piss you off. Some days you’ll feel tired/cranky/unwell/not focused and so on. These days happen. Accept them, be honest about them and get on with it.

If you can, find something positive to focus on. If you can’t focus on getting through the day. Get to bed early and make a promise to yourself that tomorrow is a new start.

 The other 364. Day 25.

Be grateful for all your body can do. It’s the only one you have.

 I’m still trying to master this one, but the more I see that sentence the more I see it’s truth.

Rather than wish you were bigger or smaller be grateful for all your body has and can achieve. Size is nothing but a number.

Rather than be angry you can’t touch your toes, be grateful for the lessons you learn trying.

Every twist and turn and jump and step makes you unique. There’s no one else quite like you and that’s awesome.

 The other 364. Day 24.

A 12 week goal.

It’s the start of a new day, a new week, a new month. The days feel longer. It’s a time where I start to look forward a few months. I’m setting a 12week goal for myself today and have a plan that includes small things to do each day to get me there.

For me it’s an athletic goal, but you can set your sights on ANYTHING in this time. So let’s make a plan, keep yourself accountable, set small goals and believe you can get there. Will check back in w/c 17 June.

 The other 364. Day 23.

Check in on someone.

 “Are you good? It seems good!” – how guilty are you of saying that to someone? How often do you scroll and think “that looks great, they must be doing so well”

This is a wee reminder that everyone is guilty of posting their best version of themselves on social media, or even the version of themselves they want to project. It’s more often than not not real life. Check in with your friends. In person. No matter how great it looks online nothing beats someone asking how they are.

 The other 364. Day 22.

You define you.

 It’s not your job, your marital status or your bank account that defines you. You do. It’s not what you’re wearing but how you wear it. It’s not what you’re saying but how you say it.

Think about this the next time you have to introduce yourself to a stranger. My default intro was always “I’m Lorna, from X” (the place I work). That’s how I was asking to be defined. It wasn’t until very recently that I realised I did this. I was in a training exercise. and had to answer to question “who am i”. You’d think I’d have jumped straight in and said “Hello I’m Lorna and I’m a publicist, and I work at…” but didn’t. Instead I said “Hello, I’m Lorna, I’m here today because I have a desire to give opportunity to…” – my introduction was defined by my values. Disclosure – I was working on personal values earlier this day – this isn’t as randomly enlightening as it sounds. But it sparked a realisation that I was 100% in control of how I was asking to be defined. I’ve consciously made more of an effort to introduce the authentic me that I want people to remember, not the professional me that invites people to make certain judgements.

Don’t get me wrong – I’m proud of my job, where I work and what I do. But I don’t want to be defined by it. I want to be defined by my actions and my words, how I make people feel when I meet them and when I leave them.

 The other 364. Day 21.

Some friends turn into strangers.

I noticed this on socials yesterday and it hit me hard in the heart:

“Sometimes you gotta go broke, lose the person you thought you loved, watch friends turn to strangers, just to get to your destination. Elevation requires separation”

It’s harsh but true. You may not consciously go for broke but it’s true – some friends do become strangers. One thing I do believe though is that if they are meant to be in your life they’ll come back. You may have to reach out, that may fall on deaf ears, but I have a belief that the universe will keep people in your life that you need, and it’ll draw others away because there’s another destiny for either you or them.

The person you miss may be gone for a reason.

The other 364. Day 20.

Find your tribe. Surround yourself with people that feed your soul.

I’m so lucky. I’m lucky because I have best friends. Best friends that I know will support me no matter what. Best friends that make me a better version of myself.

Aside from those people I don’t have a huge circle. There’s no group nights out in my life, no long tables for brunch at a weekend – I’m very much more of a person that likes one on one contact and the intimacy that comes with that. I like to spend quality time with quality people.

Whilst I know that’s super beneficial for me I sometimes I feel like I’m missing out from that group experience. Talking to people I barely know, listening to stories, learning from other people’s adventures. That solo mentality, or one-on-one mentality can make me a little insular, maybe awkward in social environments. It makes me introverted in group situations. But I know it’s good for me. So I have recently forced myself to break through those mental barriers and embrace a group situation that feeds my soul.

That group is Run Dem Crew. It’s not a run club. It’s a family of people looking for their light and being encouraged to search as deep as they need to do find that small spark. It’s a sometimes overwhelming space – 100 plus people in a room, some bigger characters holding court, some smaller voices feeling muted maybe but however you feel when surrounded by crew you know it’s accepted. You’re free to be “me”. If that “me” is a sub three marathoner you’ll be clapped. If that “me” is someone who has never run a mile you’ll be supported in your path. You get the idea.

It’s a crew with a leader I’m proud to count as one of those aforementioned best friends. A leader that finds power in vulnerability as well as knowing that dreams are within reach. A leader that encourages only honesty and authenticity and invites you to always be your true self.

Walking into the weekly “kitchen table” where crew gathers always seems daunting to me. The inner voice asks “will I be welcome”, “will I have anyone to talk to”, “do I have anything to give”. Being brave enough to counter that chatter takes a lot of energy but once I’m through the doors on the night that anxiety dissolves. I’m always made to feel welcome; there’s always someone who’ll make eye contact with – you may not speak, but in that moment you’re connected and the loneliness disappears. Even if I’ve not connected with someone listening to words said in housekeeping inspires. It drives me to be better, dream bigger, to just do something. In that space nothing holds me back. It’s not a space I’m always in – I dip in and out when I know I need that energy, or if I feel I have something to give back.

I’m sharing this because I know that group situations can be daunting. I know that some people reading this will think they don’t have the strength to break through the anxiety they have to join a group of strangers. You do. If you really want something, really crave a community to be a part of you’ll find the power to join in. You just have to be brave. I promise you there’s nothing but good coming your way when you find your tribe. I’ve said this before but nothing new comes out of dwelling in your comfort zone – stretch out of it and you’ll find an army of likeminded souls to share your moments with, and inspire your future.

 The other 364. Day 19.

You are in control of how your social feed makes you feel.

 I’m guilty of doing this. Scrolling and feeling bad. You stumble across the person living your dream – they have the body, the job, the partner, the gear, the anything. In ten seconds of viewing their post there’s a feeling of jealousy or longing in your gut that you can’t shake. You scroll on but later on you see the image again in your mind and it’s back in the front of your memory and the feeling gets stronger. Maybe it affects your mood for the rest of the day. You wake up and start another day, and as soon as you load the app these behaviours start again. It’s an unavoidable trait of being on social media, right?

Wrong. You are 100% in charge of what you see in your feed. And if what you see doesn’t make you feel good you need to change it because there’s absolutely no point in consciously doing something that makes you feel bad – there’s elements of your day you can’t control, and they can challenge your mindset in every which way, so why actively do something that’s harming you yourself?

Whilst I can appreciate that sometimes following someone who has the job/lifestyle/whatever it is you aspire to can push you, and sometimes you may feel a pang of something negative, but keep those feelings in check. As soon as something you see on social starts to make you feel constantly negative it’s time to cut that out of your feed. You’ll get by without that in your day to day. The feelings of fomo will pass (believe me, when you start to curate your feed you’ll think you’re missing out on a whole world of activity – you aren’t) and you’ll be the superstar you are none the wiser of your social saboteur(s).

I’ll end by inviting you to take an honest look at your feed. Ask yourself if the images feed you harm you. Find power in unfollowing.

I also want to say that everyone on social is guilty of showing their best life. Those that look like they have it all sorted don’t. They just aren’t sharing that. If you were to have an actual conversation with that person you’d know that. Obviously you can’t do that with everyone that’s accessible on social – but keep that in mind when you’re dissecting their images and comparing your situation with theirs. There’s only so much a picture can say.

The other 364. Day 18.

It’s ok to make mistakes.

Mistakes happen. They are a part of every day. Learn from them as they pop up. Don’t be so scared of them that you avoid them, instead own them. Taking ownership of them shows maturity and a willingness the progress.

Yesterday I made some stupid mistakes. Mistakes I could have avoided. I panicked and let my emotions rule my actions and I messed up. I owned up on the spot, I moved along. I will not make the same mistake twice and I’ll follow my own advice if those feelings come up again.

I write this from my point of view of being a leader. There’s such an internal pressure to get things right all the time, to be the perfect example of how to do things right. It takes a lot of courage to lead by the example of admitting you’re constantly learning, constantly evolving and therefore constantly susceptible to having a mistake or two creep into your day. It’s how you react afterwards that defines the kind of leader you want to be. Admit the mistake, show learning and intend to move on.

Making and learning mistakes happen. Looking at them as less of a foe and more of an occasional friend that visits randomly and you’ll feel empowered. Embrace the notion of mistakes, be ok with not being perfect and just give your day your all. Effort exceeds perfection every time in my book.

The other 364. Day 17.

Rules for Monday

Smile

Ask how someone’s day is going and truly listen to their answer

Do something that stretches your comfort zone a little

Commit to the to-do-list

Do one small thing that contributes to a personal goal

 The other 364. Day 16.

35 positive things.

 I’m doing a lot of reading about self and professional improvement at the moment. I stumbled across an exercise that sparked intrigue. It’s recommended that if someone is lacking in self confidence they are asked to look inside and list all the positive things they recognise in themselves. They need to list the same amount of items related to their age – I’m 35 so I’d need to list 35 items. Going through this process is designed to build a sense of self. If you can recognise your achievements, goals and dreams you’ll stop looking for external validation and/or focusing on the expectations of others.

So here goes. Here’s my 35 things.

I’m fiercely loyal

2. I’m never late

3. I love with all my heart

4. I can be relied upon to make plans.

5. I am a dreamer

6. I will always make eye contact

7. If I say I’ll be somewhere I’ll be there

8. It may take some courage but I’ll be adventurous

9. I embrace honesty

10. I give a great hug

11. I’ll support your dreams

12. I’m not afraid to pick up the phone

13. I’ll tell someone I’m thinking of them

14. I’m open to improvement in any and every sense

15. I’m trying to be more present

16. I respect hierarchy

17. I can laugh until I cry

18. I can admit when I’m wrong

19. I can admit when I don’t know the answers

20. I’m not afraid to cry

21. I trust my gut feeling.

I got to 21 items and I struggled to continue. This is hard!

22. I like early mornings – id very much like to see the sunrise every day

I’m stuck again. And my internal chatter is telling me this feels too self indulgent. I’m going to power through…

23. I have a very good memory

24. I’m determined

25. I can be discreet

26. I can keep a secret

27. I am comfortable with silences

28. I am sincere

29. I am physically strong

30. I am self motivated

31. I’m aware of my own feelings and will articulate them

32. I am independent

33. I am ambitious

34. I’m organised

35. I’m logical.

I thought I’d breeze through this list. It was hard. I even googled “personality traits”… I found writing some of these items down uncomfortable – which means I still have a long way to go before I can say I’m fully self confident in all my abilities – and I may not. ever reach that point, but this experiment was useful for me to recognise that.

 The other 364. Day 15.

There are 168 hours in a week.

 This is inspired by @Adrienne_LDN. She posted a voice note on her addictive “Power Hour” podcast about increasing your odds. She opened by telling her listeners there are 168 hours in a week.

This sounds like both a huge amount and nothing at the same time. Let me break it down.

I “officially” work around 50hours a week in the “office”/“at my desk”. I usually get 8hrs sleep a night. Combine that and it’s 106hours a week, leaving 62hrs in a week. Divide that by 7 and you’re left with 8.85hrs a day with nothing attached to it.

If I break this down more for my day to day: 5 days a week I have an hours commute in and out of the office. That’s 10hrs. So I’m left with 52hours a week or 7.43hrs a day uncommitted to.

So we have a number. 7.43hrs a day free for me. This was such a powerful thing to realise. That’s a huge amount of time. There’s no reason not to add in an hour to work out (which I usually do if I’m honest). There’s no reason to cook all of my three meals (which i know I should, and I have the capabilities to do so) and even if I give myself an hour for each of those activities I’m still left with 5hrs a day. That’s a fair chunk of time to do SOMETHING.

Now for the scary part. I’ve had this time for a long time. Have I achieved anything? Not really. There’s books unread on the shelve, I weigh the same weight I have for the past three years (weight loss is a goal – I should add this here for context), there are cupboards not sorted, laundry not done, desired skills not learned. Yes I sound like I’m giving myself a hard time, but bear with me on this. Let’s delve a step deeper. I look at my screen time stats. I spend 14hrs a week doing nothing but numbing my brain on social media. 14hrs only using my thumbs and not my senses. 14hrs basically tricking myself into feeling bad about myself. I’d like to note right now that generally I’m very much pro social media – I wouldn’t be who I am, have most experiences I’ve had, met some of the most special people in my life without it but… 14hrs is a stupid amount of time to spend on it. I don’t connect with people or learn anything for that full amount of time. That’s two hours a day staring at a screen for no good reason. It’s a scary thought.

I’ve rambled, but I have a point. My point is time goes by with or without us. It takes no prisoners. It can feel like it’s rolling away from you, and as each day/week/month passes you can feel like you’re achieving very little. So with that in mind I invite you to audit the time you have in a week, and see how you honestly spend it and evaluate how you WANT to spend it. There is time, you just have to invest in it wisely.

(I’m aware there’s a certain irony as I’m writing this down and sharing on social media but I hope these words will inspire some kind of action to those that need it)

 The other 364. Day 14.

Take three deep breaths whenever you need to.

Deep inhale. Smooth exhale.

Deep inhale. Smooth exhale.

Deep inhale. Smooth exhale.

You’ll be amazed at the difference it makes.

The other 364. Day 13.

Mono task.

Do one thing, do it well, move on.

There are no medals for spinning plates.

 The other 364. Day 12.

Other people’s opinion of you is none of your business.

 One of the most powerful questions I was asked was by a good friend. She stopped me mid sentence and said “why do you care so much about what other people think of you?”

I didn’t have an answer. I can’t control what other people make of me – that’s on them. Their opinion of me will be a reflection of what I represent in a moment of time related to how they feel. There’s absolutely nothing I can contribute to change that.

What I can do is focus on what I think about myself. It’s talking realistically to myself and making sure my words reflect my values, reflect the effort I’m putting in, reflecting my true self. How I think and talk about myself will project on to others, so I need to make sure I’m ok with that. How it’s interpreted once I’ve put it out there isn’t my business.

 The other 364. Day 11.

Do one thing today that gets you one step closer to a dream goal.

 If you dream of going to the Olympics you need to be the best of the best in the chosen discipline. You can’t be the best if you don’t train. You can only train if you carve out some time, eat to fuel to training, get some sleep.

Break down your dream goal into a process that gives you something manageable to aim towards each day. And take one of those tiny steps today. You can find 30mins to focus on it.

 The other 364. Day 10.

Hannah.

 One of Lululemon’s 364 examples to carry on the essence of IWD year round was to give gratitude to other women. Today I’m saying out loud I’m grateful for Hannah.

Hannah and I met because of social media. Running was at its most in-Vogue and social media was on the rise when we first discovered each other – it was 2013. It took about a year before we actually met in person, but by using social media as I believe it was initially / originally designed for, we interacted and we supported each other as we skipped through training runs and races. In July 2014 we decided to run a 10km race together. On that sunny day we decided to quit halfway round, and thus a best friendship was born, based on laughing through difficult times and quitting whilst we were ahead.

As time passed we got to know each other – coincidentally we worked in the same industry, had connections to the same people, and through that our support for each other grew. We both knew that running helped us escape our work pressures – something so few understood, especially as we worked in such a “glamorous” and “fun” industry (disclosure – there’s not too much glamorous about what we do – it’s our jobs to make it look that way!!). As our love for running grew, so did the time spent together and that’s really the end of that. In the five short years we’ve known each other Hannah has been a rock. She’s been there for me when I’ve asked (and vice versa) she’s made me see reality, she’s given advice, she’s supported harebrained ideas. She’s been on the sides of the roads at races, she’s held my hand and swished her hair when I’ve needed it most. We’ve bounced through life being able to be honest with each other – even if that means being (sometimes unnecessarily) enraged, emotional or delirious with excitement.

There are moments where a decent chunk of time passes and we’ve not spoken. That’s ok. We know where we are, and where we stand if we need each other. We have the sort of friendship where we know it’s the quality of time we share, not the quantity, that really matters. And when we do share that time it’s usually over banana bread and skippy peanut butter. Because we’re awesome. To Hannah. X

 The other 364. Day 9.

Schedule time for you the way you schedule meetings at work.

The CEO doesn’t cancel. You are the CEO of you. Put the time in your diary and work out your priorities so you stick to that commitment. It’s ok to take an hour out of your day to reset. It’s ok to take 30mins out to get some headspace. Nothing that happens in 60 mins you’re offline will need fixing immediately – it can wait. And if it can’t someone else can step in. As we head into a new week schedule some time for you and commit to it.

(Inspired by previous words by Robin Arzon @robinnyc )

The other 364. Day 8.

Be brave, not perfect.

I’m just back from a park run. My third. The second was an improvement on the first, today was a windy, grey morning with no hope of a pb. I ran just 10seconds slower than my best. I didn’t set out to run my fastest loops of the park – it’s less than perfect conditions, and I don’t have the physical strength to meet the challenges of both the weather AND the hills – so I just set out to do my best. And truth be told if it wasn’t such a battle with the wind I would have had an improved time. So that’s my learning for today. Just go for it, even if you know it won’t be perfect. You might just enjoy it, or surprise yourself.

 The other 364. Day 7.

“It’s not a priority for me”

Time. It’s precious. There never seems to be enough of it. However how you spend it is a choice – I think we often forget that. So the next time you go to say “I don’t have the time to do X” say “It’s not a priority for me to do X” and see how you feel. It’ll either ring true or not sit right. If it doesn’t sit right evaluate how you’re spending your time in order to make X a priority. The choice is yours.

 The other 364. Day 6.

Be mindful of how you talk to yourself.

 I had a tough day yesterday. I’m finding this week a personal and professional challenge. Nothing seems to be coming easy to me despite being more than capable of dealing with anything that’s coming up. I can’t put my finger on why I’m resisting everything but I am and for no good reason I’m adding to the challenge by not talking kindly to myself.

My inner voice is playing to each and every insecurity at the moment. I’ll catch my reflection and I’ll be unhappy and I’ll point out my perceived imperfections. I can hear myself saying things about myself that I’d be angry hearing if someone else said them to me. It’d be classed as bullying. I don’t tolerate bullies so why am I tolerating this self talk? I can ask the question, but right now I can’t give a reasonable answer or have the will power to stop.

It’s not just self talk. I’ll receive an email that pushes a button and I’ll react unkindly to myself. “Why didn’t you spot that”, “why didn’t you preempt this”, “I’m clearly not good enough anymore” are all thoughts that have been raised in the last 24hrs.

It will pass, and there will always be difficult times to contend with, however how you talk to yourself during these times makes a difference. You would never physically hold your head high and say “you’re a damn idiot Lorna” – you’d hold your head high and say “you can do this”. If you found a friend a little upset you’d hold them and tell them to take small steps to make it through the day, you wouldn’t say “come the fuck on and pull yourself together”. So why am I talking to myself so harshly?

I’ve been blessed with a new day, and today I’m going to stop the self sabotage and encourage myself not berate. I am the most reliable personal I have to depend on, I’m the best friend I’ll have by my side 24/7, so it’s time to start acting like one.

Hold the head high, physically lift the chin, and watch how you talk to yourself. Don’t be a bully, talk with encouragement and compassion instead. Onwards.

 The other 364. Day five.

To be early is to be on time.

To be on time is to be late.

To be late is to be forgotten.

Simple but effective rules to live by. Apply it to everything. Every moment, every appointment, every meeting, every class, every everything. Time is your most valuable commodity – you can never get it back. So don’t abuse time. Being early is being respectful, being present, being prepared.

 The other 364. Day 4.

Find power in silence.

 Following on from day three where I encouraged thought on apologising unnecessarily I wanted to extend on that a little, and invite you to be silent. Just give it a try. Say absolutely nothing for a moment. Note how it makes you feel.

I’m still not quite comfortable with all silences, where as some I crave. I’ll start with professional silences. I had a boss who would call an unexpected meeting with me; and then sit back in his chair, silent. I’d panic and fill the silence, not knowing why he wanted to speak to me. I’m positive it was his way of learning and playing on my insecurities. Pushing me out of a comfort zone. It’s a tough tactic but it really does work if you’re in the driving (silent) seat – you learn a lot in the quiet. I’m testing myself more and more at the moment with this in my day to day – saying nothing instead of something when I’m in a challenging conversation. I sometimes have to physically stop myself opening my mouth when I exhale, in preparation for saying something and just simply wait a beat. Let the silence do the talking. It’s powerful, it’s uncomfortable sometimes, and it changes the energy in that specific moment. Sometimes for good, sometimes not so, but you have to give it a try to see where it lands you.

Then there’s the quiet I crave. My days are overly articulate. I talk for a living – I have to use conversation at every point. There are few moments of solitude, no real need for regular reflection. There came a point in the last year where my mind and my eyes felt fried at the end of each day. I was spent, all out of brain power. I just needed to be quiet. I didn’t have a meditation practise at this point, and I’m sure this is how I found out that I really needed it. I craved my own company for a few moments. I needed to shut off and not say anything. So that’s what I did just before sleep. By quietening down the physical noise I was left deafened by my thoughts – whizzing around my mind like an airport arrivals gate. This in turn tired me out even more. And so the need to train the mind to simply cut off for a few moments Daily was born.

I found an app, and I practised meditation daily. I’m currently on 70 day plus meditation streak. Some days I manage three minutes. Most days it’s ten minutes. I’ve been known to attempt twenty. Sometimes I’m focused and can feel the clarity whirr through my veins other days the guided words are simply just another distraction to add to the clanging thoughts of the day. Most days I’m somewhere in between. What it’s done is made me be ok with silence. It’s made it a necessity rather than a threat. It’s made me notice what’s important to me, it’s helped me realise just how clearing a big breath in and out can be. It’s helped me focus, it’s helped me identify just how I feel in the here and now, and it’s made me realise that whatever the worry it won’t be cured with panic.

Silence. It’s worth giving it a moment.

 The other 364. Day 3.

Stop apologising.

 “I’m sorry but…”, “I’m sorry to chase, however…”, “I’m sorry can I just check” – there’s one word that’s not needed in these three starts of sentences – it’s “sorry”.

Before you go to say or write sorry – please ask yourself if you MEAN it. You’re not “sorry to chase” nor is there a need to apologise for checking something – the reason you’re having to ask is because something hasn’t been shared with you, or someone’s forgotten to give you enough detail for you to get on with whatever it is you need to do. “Sorry” loses all of its meaningful meaning when overused unnecessarily.

The same can be said for using the word if you cross someone at a doorway/stairway etc. Are you sorry you crossed? You only really should be if you’ve made physical contact – knocked them unexpectedly. Then it’s polite to acknowledge to moment with an apology – but again only if required. Are you really sorry that you passed someone by coincidence? Not at all. Instead say “hello”. Or even “pardon me” – see how that makes you feel.

It’s super empowering to use words properly. Live to their definition. So by checking yourself when you start to type “sorry” or “just” (your justifying whatever follows – do you need to?) or even “is that ok with you” (you’re inviting an answer to a question you may not want answered”) you’re vowing to only say what you mean. Removing such words don’t make you sound harsh – there are other ways of rephrasing things that sound better – “please can I check…”, “there’s a deadline is fast approaching, can I chase…”, and so on. Saying “sorry” uncalled for diminishes its meaning. It’s a powerful, thoughtful. word when used properly – it’s compassionate and heartfelt and that meaning shouldn’t be diluted through overuse. Take a breath before using the word. See if you honestly need or mean to say it. Maybe don’t just stop at “sorry” – see what other white noise you add simply to soften an ask or to cushion your approach. See if you can cut it and empower your phrasing.

 The other 364. Day 2.

Just do it.

 Nothing exciting happened within a comfort zone. It sounds like a cliche, and it is, but it’s also true. If you don’t try things that scare you you’ll always be limited by those thoughts. How many times as a kid did you not want to pet the puppy, gave it a try, and made a friend in that moment. How many times were you dubious of the food, gave it a try and now it’s your favourite dish.

Do something that scares you. Every day. This mindset has changed my day to day. Ask the direct question even though you’re not sure if you want the answer, sign up for the 10km/half marathon/marathon even if you think you “can’t run”, try to cook the complicated meal even if you’re worried how it might turn out. Apply this to any situation and you’ll be surprised at how much you’re not scared of “that” and how much more you can actually achieve. You’re mind will be blown. It can be a simple task or something that seems mammoth but just try. Just start. Don’t be afraid to fail. You’ll learn something from each and every failure, and you’ll edge forward to that end goal – I promise.

If I hadn’t started thinking like this I wouldn’t have run 5 marathons in 4 years having been unhealthy, unhappy and overweight just 9months before my first race – it changed my life for good. I wouldn’t have the global circle of friends I did today if I wasn’t brave and just spoke to strangers, and showed my true self. I would never have discovered the mountains if I hadn’t swallowed my pride and jumped on the cable car on a work trip (I was once petrified). I would never have found a soul mate if I hadn’t made the first move and just asked how they were one day. I’d never have achieved so much in my career if I didn’t just ask the burning question.

If all this seems too much just ask yourself before every “scary” task “what’s the worst that can happen” – and be honest with the answer. I promise you it won’t be as scary as you think.

 The Other 364

International Women’s Day was yesterday. Great though it is to see a celebration of women for one day, change is never achieved in a day, equality won’t happen in 24hrs. It’s about taking action every day to make your voice heard.

I’m not alone in this thinking – the brand Lululemon impressed me by making this message their key activation yesterday. Reading their list of 364 pieces of inspiration to carry forward the essence of IWD inspired me to write this post. I’m deciding to pay it forward for a year. To make an effort to make my voice heard each and every day. Some days it could be a big effort, other days a slight change. However large or small the effort will be put out there.

Today I write from the mountains. The air is fresh, the freedom is felt. I can think clearly and move freely. Something I know I take for granted. Today’s waking thought was “how can I really make a difference?” I’ve got this urge to make a change but I’m not sure how to visualise it, to manifest it into action. So I’m spending my first 24hrs with this new goal listening with this question in mind. And maybe simply listening is the answer – let’s give someone else their voice and I’ll listen with all my heart and mind focused on them.

We all can listen. We just have to want to. That’s today’s plan. Listen.